Happy Birthday, Kenny! April 6, 2009

All morning, Abbie referred to Kenny as "Daddy". Yesterday, she couldn't stop running to his lap for hugs.

 

     It is my beloved’s birthday today.  He is something that rhymes with “shirty-fine”.

 

     (To read last year’s birthday post, click here.)

 

     This will be the fourteenth birthday of his we’ve celebrated together.  In his family, birthdays were no big deal.  (Rather, HIS birthdays were no big deal.)  There were even a few years where his birthday was completely forgotten, or hurriedly thrown together after dinner, and for the most part, there were no gifts.  I promised him that I’d never forget his birthday, and I’ve tried to make up for 24 years of neglect.  It was easy when we were first married.  His birthday was in the spring, and mine was in the fall.  Six months apart meant lots of time to plan. 

 

     Then we had two kids with birthdays at the end of March, and Easter gets thrown in the mix, so by the time I’ve celebrated three birthdays and a holiday, I’m pretty wiped out.

 

     (Somewhat guiltily, I’ve started referring to it as “Hell Week”.) 

 

     We celebrated Kenny’s birthday with my family last night, which is always a highlight of spring General Conference, and ate ourselves sick on tacos and seven-layer bean dip.  My mom did this really cool jello/pudding poke cake, and he got his birthday “loot”, which included “Heroes”- seasons 1 and 2, another Wii controller, some Swedish Fish and a (very!) generous gift card to Lowe’s.  (Thanks, Mom and Dad!)

 

     To keep in the theme of making each birthday-day a big deal, the kids and I will be taking cupcakes into his work (and I hope embarrassing the heck out of him, because payback is a nasty thing!) and making a(nother) birthday dinner.  Then we’ll end our night by having Family Home Evening and working to implement this weekend’s prophetic counsel.  Probably not the most exciting birthday ever, and certainly not as fun as a big party with friends, but I am hopeful that he’ll enjoy it.

 

     Probably not as much as he enjoyed this, however:

 

This was taken at Souper Salad on Alex's birthday. He was telling the kids those stupid jokes about Ethiopians and Helen Keller, and he pulled some muscles from laughing so hard. He was trying to muffle his laughter with napkins, but with no success. We were EASILY the loudest people in the restaurant. *sigh*

 

    

     I love you, honey!  You  make my life better.  Your support and encouragement keep me going on my hardest days, and your sense of humor never fails to cheer me up.  (Okay, USUALLY never fails…)      You work so hard for our family, and we’re grateful to have you as a husband and father.

 

     Here’s to another “shirty-fine” years, at least. 

 

     Mwah!

Busy, busy, busy March 13, 2009

     I haven’t posted in nearly a week.  I’ve been keeping busy with this:

 

 

and with these:

 

(Look!  He’s not hitting her!)

 

and with these:

    

 

and finishing this:

 

 

for him:

 

 

 

     I also spent the most marvelous two hours on the phone today with a very good friend.  We caught up and shared stories and I think I talked her ear off.  It was so wonderful, though, and so well worth it!  (Although I can’t say the same for her ear…)  Thanks for stalking me, Rachel.  You made my day.  My week.  My month!        

 

     It has been a very fulfilling week.  I am worn out!  Happy, but worn out.

 

     I’m calling it a night.

 

     (Don’t forget to enter the apron giveaway.  I picked out my fabric tonight, and I’m so excited to get started!  You have until Wednesday, March 18 to leave a comment and/or sign up for the apron exchange.)

Prayers, please. February 23, 2009

     For all of my readers who are the praying kind, I’m asking for your help today.

 

     My sister Kristi is going back to court this morning to request permanent custody of her darling daughter Abbie, and to work out some other issues that have come up since the temporary orders were put into place last April.  The past ten months have been very rough on my family, and we’re hoping the commissioner will take the steps necessary to keep everyone safe from the abuse, the threats, the negligence and the immature antics of Kristi’s ex and Abbie’s dad, Jim.

 

     Thank you.

Don’t you just want to squish her? July 14, 2008

 

That’s my Abbie.  She’s adorable.

Oopsie June 18, 2008

     I just realized this morning that, for all my good NaBloPoMo intentions, I have not blogged for the past two days.

 

     Whoops.

 

     The “old” Kemi (you wait…  someone will google “old” and “Kemi” and be led to THIS post, and then I’ll be forced to track them down and kick them) would have panicked, cried, felt like a failure, and either

Snow White May 12, 2008

     I have decided that from now on, I will refer to my niece Abbie as “Snow White”. 

     If you swap the stroller for a glass box, and the thumb for a poisoned apple, she could totally pass.  Of course, Abbie’s only five months old…  but still.

 

     Isn’t she adorable?

The Court Report April 29, 2008

     Kristi had her first (of many, I’m sure, thanks to Abbie’s biological father) court appearance today.  It was to decide temporary physical and legal custody, of which the S.D. (the *ahem* donor, as he shall be known from here on out) felt he should be awarded.  He wanted sole legal and joint physical custody, as in a “we’ll each keep her seven days and then switch, but I make all the decisions” sort of idea. 

 

     We were very nervous for Kristi, because the S.D. has played such a manipulative role in her life up to this point.  We walked into the courthouse and right into a crowd of his “supporters”, which was startling, to say the least.  My dad made the comment that he must have brought every last friend he had, which was mean, but sort of funny.  It was also humorous, in an eye-rolling way, when his lawyer introduced all of S.D.’s supporters to the Commissioner, while pointing out that Kristi only had three people on her side.  (Me and my parents.)  Luckily, the Commissioner wasn’t impressed with the snarky comparison. 

 

     S.D.’s lawyer dismissed the fact that Kristi was a nursing mother, discounted our religion, saying instead that Abbie should wait for any religious instruction for ten years, at which point she would be old enough to choose for herself (Hello?  I’m all for letting kids make choices, but how do they make a choice about something they have no experience with?  In ten years, with absolutely no religious education, would she pick the LDS faith just because the temples are pretty?  Catholic because she saw some nuns on “The Sound of Music”?  I don’t mean to be offensive…  I’m just saying it was a flawed argument), and tried to claim that because Kristi had considered adoption at the very earliest stages of her pregnancy, it illustrated how little she cared for Abbie.

 

     Kristi’s lawyer was awesome.  She’s this tiny, petite thing who looks harmless, but holy cow, did she bring her “A” game!  She was offering up rebuttals right and left, and threw a couple of zingers at S.D. that his lawyers couldn’t refute.  She was a spirited little fireball in leopard-print shoes, and we were very glad that she was on our side.

 

     When the Commissioner took a recess to review her information, we were all a little nervous.  She asked a lot of questions about S.D.’s work schedule, and I was afraid she might go ahead with a joint-custody order.  When she returned to the courtoom, she said that she was going to give them joint legal custody (boo!), but that Kristi was the final decision maker.  (Yay!)  She also said that because Abbie is only four months old, she should remain in Kristi’s full physical custody (yay again!)  with no sleepovers at S.D.’s for at least a year.  (Thank GOODNESS!)  Then she worked out a very specific (yay!)  visitation schedule which gives S.D. the following:  three days a week, followed by two, then two.  Then it repeats.  (Boo!)  While we had hoped for less visitation time, it isn’t any more than S.D. is already getting, and possibly even less, when averaged over the month.  Plus, he is restricted from taking Abbie after coming off of a 24-hour shift, which was one of Kristi’s biggest concerns.   If Kristi can arrange her work schedule to match his visitation and/or work days, she won’t miss out on any of her time with Abbie, either.  Of course S.D. has the option to fight this order, but being awarded twenty-four or sixteen visitation hours, depending on the week, when the state guideline suggests nine, I can’t imagine he’d find a judge willing to give him MORE than what was decided today.

 

     So, we’re happy.  It could have gone better for Kristi (sole legal custody and shorter visitation for S.D.), but it could have been a whole  lot worse.  Right now the visitation schedule is very specific, there is a court order backing Kristi up, AND it’s good for a year, as long as S.D. cooperates.

 

     Thank you so much for all your prayers and well-wishes.  I know they helped us today.

 

     Sleep well, sweet Abbie!  You’re with your mommy tonight, where you belong.

 

I’m all written out April 24, 2008

     Earlier today my sister called me and asked if I would be willing to draft a letter to the judge assigned to her custody case, stating why she should be awarded sole physical and legal custody of Abbie over Abbie’s biological father. 

 

     Oh yeah, I could get behind that.

 

     Three hours and four single-spaced pages later, I had finished a pretty rocking letter, if you’ll allow me to pat my own back.  Phew.  Reliving the nightmare of the past six years took a heavy toll, and I am too wiped out to compose anything else.

 

     I’d really like to post my letter, especially because I think there are so many women in similar situations who might benefit from reading it, but I’m afraid to post it until after next Tuesday, when temporary custody is determined.  If I accidentally hurt Kristi’s case for sole custody, I’d never forgive myself.  

 

     Please keep your fingers crossed and a prayer in your heart for Kristi and Abbie.  My adult sister fought a life-or-death battle to escape her “relationship” (I use that term loosely) from Abbie’s biological father, so we are all very anxious about the judge ordering our sweet, innocent four-month-old Abbie back into that hell.

Worried April 18, 2008

     My sister was “low census-ed” at work today, which means Abbie’s dad has to return her two hours early.  He’s had double the minimum visitation already this week, so it’s not like my sister is taking anything away from him.  Also, he’s the one who insisted on being the daycare provider while she works.  If Abbie was at a regular daycare, there would be no problem with showing up and taking her home at the end of my sister’s shift, whether it ended early or not.

 

     Here’s the problem:

  

     Abbie’s dad has issues with control, with rage, with controlling his rage… and he has been stalking her at work and making threats.  It’s been an hour and a half since my sister’s shift ended.  She isn’t answering her cell phone or her work pager.  No one knows where she is, if she got Abbie, or if either of them are safe.

 

     I hate worrying…  and when people don’t answer their cell phones.

Abbie’s cross-stitch update, take 2 *clap* April 14, 2008

     Yesterday I was having some issues with WordPress, but today is a new day and everything seems to be working well.

  

     I got my update photo loaded (still not doing anything differently than I did the 50 times I tried it last night) and since it’s on my craft page, I’ll link you to it.

 

     I know.  I’m a giver.

 

     Here is Abbie’s project.  Now that I see the pictures together, I haven’t completed as much as I thought, but then again, I didn’t work on it for the two months I was sick.  At least the poor child has most of her hair now.