White Trash Wall Art, Sutton Style November 4, 2009

     During my two-month absence from the blog, I was (fortunate?  cursed?  humiliated?) to have experienced several situations that put me in a special sort of category.  A People of Walmart category.  A take-your-kids-to-work-with-no-pants sort of thing that morphed from the mortifying into the hilarious, at least for those who happened to view it.  Us.  Whatever.  (Trust me, those stories are coming.  And you will LOVE me for them.  Just not tonight.)

 

     I try to adopt the “laugh so you don’t cry” mentality, which may be a sure sign of my descent into full-blown white-trashiness (“Hi, my name is Kemi and I have no class.”   “Hi, Kemi.”), but I’ve found that it helps me retain what little sanity I have.  Especially when dealing with my husband  children  family.  Perhaps the ability to embrace the tackiness that makes up my life is somewhat like Prozac, only without the pharmaceuticals. 

 

     So, my life being what it is, after I got all the kids to school this morning, and Abbie went off with her dad (*insert your own title-related joke here*), I noticed a two-inch spot on the wall in the hallway.  Upon further investigation, I saw that someone had used my wall as an artist’s canvas.  This someone, when interrogated after her Kindergarten dismissal, said that she didn’t have time to grab a sheet of paper, and therefore felt completely justified in using the wall.

 

     Also?  This is not her first time.  Nor is it the first (or second, or hundredth) conversation we’ve had about what markers and crayons are SUPPOSED to write on.  And yet?  I find mini masterpieces on her limbs, her clothes, her sheets, her books, MY books…

 

     Who needs wallpaper (or nice paint) when you have an artiste  living under your roof?  Perhaps I should charge for her services and fund my retirement.

 

Living Room Abstract

2′  x  3′

Hannah, age 2

Dry erase marker on white paint

(faded paint courtesy of magic eraser)

Composed while artist’s mother was nursing artist’s infant brother

 

 

 

 

 

Happy Hallway

2″  x  2.5″

Hannah, age 5  (three weeks shy of 6)

Red felt tip on white paint

Composed covertly while artist should have been in bed

 

 

 

 

     Oh my goodness, we’ve turned into this: 

 

Something noisy this way screams March 4, 2009

     After spending my morning in two classrooms yesterday, I thought I’d relieve Kenny for a bit and take Hannah and Anthony with me on a few errands.  (Mistake #1.) 

 

     We went to the post office first, where they fought over who got to stand on the base of the “wait here” sign and Anthony did pull-ups on the counter.  Then we went to the credit union (drive-through window…  I know better than to take him inside) where he yelled nonsense words at the cashier and kicked the back of the seat.  Then we went to the grocery store, where I had a list of six things I needed to purchase.  Six.  Not sixteen.  Not sixty.  Not six hundred.  It should have been an in-and-out trip.

 

     It went horribly, horribly wrong.

 

Baby Love March 1, 2009

     I had another dream last night.  Another dream about babies (although this one was MUCH LESS FREAKY than the first one!).

 

     I dreamed that my brother asked me to carry his baby (remember that “Friends” episode?  “My sister’s gonna have my baby!!!” ), and I was going to have twins;  a boy and a girl.  My dream happened to be right at the end of the pregnancy, when I was feeling punky and tired and strange, and confident I was going to have those babies within the next 24 hours.

 

     I was very “zen” about the whole impending-delivery thing.  I remember letting people feel my bare stomach, because you could easily feel heads and bottoms, and little feet and hands (at that point, Anthony crawled into bed with me, so I probably was feeling that, just not internally).  I remember making a list of questions to ask my brother, like did he want to be in the operating room?  Did he want me to breastfeed while we were all in the hospital?  Did he want them to stay with me in my room?  (I really hoped the last two answers would be “yes”.)

 

     And, like Phoebe (from “Friends”), I really wanted to keep one.  Or both.  Oh, I would have happily given them to Kevin, but I was secretly hoping he would change his mind and let me take them home.

 

     I don’t even need help deciphering this dream. 

 

     If I could only convince my husband…

And so it begins… February 26, 2009

     Alex is hosting his first sleepover tonight.  I’m not sure how I feel about this new development in his life, so I am tentatively playing along, holding all the cards and making all the rules.  We’ll see how it goes.

 

     Right now the three youngest are tucked into bed, Kenny is playing a game on the Wii, and I’m sitting at the computer.  Every few minutes we’ll hear a burst of laughter from downstairs (where they have armed themselves with treats, movies, video games and every single blanket in the house), or a chorus of “Dude!” that makes me want to bang my head into the wall, and I can’t help but wonder how my son went from intelligent, articulate little boy to obnoxious skater punk.

 

     You know, ’cause he’s all, Dude!  and I’m all, “Dude?” and he’s like, Dude, Mom, yeah!  and I’m like, “Dude, Mom?” and then Christian goes, Dude, this ROCKS!  and Alex goes, Yeah, Dude, it does rock!  and then he says, Dude, Mom, why are you crying, Dude?

 

     And I vow to never let him host another sleepover, or go back to school, or grow up any more.

 

     Because, DUDE.  Seriously.

 

     I want my sweet little boy back. 

 

     *cry*

Book Baby February 25, 2009

     I took Hannah and Anthony to story time at the Tyler library today.  They had a great time listening to “bee” stories, singing “bee” songs, and making paper flowers and buzzing bees to decorate the children’s room at the library.

 

     As we searched the shelves for the perfect stories to bring home (insert dramatic hand-to-forehead gesture here), I realized that I had forgotten to get Hannah her own library card when she turned five.  I was beating myself up for not remembering, you know, because Alex and Kendra both got theirs within days of their fifth birthdays, and she smiled at me and said, “It’s okay, Mommy.  We’ll just get it today and I’ll be soooooo happy!”

 

     (I LOVE that girl.)

 

     We did, and she was, and she proudly wrote her name on the back of her card.  I even let her check out five books of her own, and she insisted on carrying them to the van.

 

     It was such a nice morning, topped off by lunch and some story-reading before naps. 

 

     I am really loving my simple-life makeover.  (Or is it make-under?)  I feel happier and so much more content, and the house is starting to shape up as well.  There is still so much to do, but I’m taking it slowly.  It’s amazing what fun things you discover when you take the time to look for them.

 

     Like libraries. 

 

     And daughters. 

 

     And the Dumb Bunnies.  (I had forgotten about them!)

 

It’s Spring! It’s Spring! February 24, 2009

     No “official” post tonight.  (It’s okay to cry.)  

 

     I’ve had a long, productive day and I’m ready to watch American Idol and head to bed.  Before I go, I just want to say:

 

warm weather = playing outside = happy kids = tired kids = happy, happy mama.  

 

     And also?  I shined my sink tonight.  It looks FABULOUS.  

 

Stay tuned for today’s post… coming tomorrow! February 19, 2009

     Because I happily spent my afternoon catching up with a good friend on Facebook (*waving to Sharane*), the post I had bouncing around my head will have to bounce around a little bit longer.  The kids are on their way home from school, there will be homework, and we are moving our FHE visit to the aquarium to tonight, thanks to my little fainting spell on Tuesday, so I won’t have time to hammer out my post tonight.

 

     Oh, and we got our state Income Tax return back today, so we’re going out to dinner after the aquarium.  (It has been AGES since we’ve gone to a real restaurant that doesn’t have a kids-eat-free-on-Tuesdays promotion.  Acutally, it’s been a while since we’ve been to one of those, too.  My point is, we’re eating OUT.  I can’t wait!)  

 

     This post actually does tie in a little bit to what I’ve been mulling over for the past few weeks, and it all has to do with simplicity.  Motherhood and simplicity.  (Is that sort of like an oxymoron?)

 

     What are your thoughts about those two words?  I’m interested.  Motherhood.  Simplicity.

 

     I can’t wait to read your responses.  (Please, let there be responses.)

 

     See you tomorrow.  I’m off to pet some Manta Rays.

 

     (And eat in a REAL restaurant.  Did I mention that part?)

I Want… My Kids February 6, 2009

     Alex is spending the night with a friend, and Hannah is having her quarterly sleepover with Grandma, so I am down to two kids.  We’ve had a fun night so far, getting (cheap) food from Wendy’s and watching Enchanted together, and it’s nice to have two-on-one time, but I miss my other babies.

 

     As soon as the movie is over, Kendra and Anthony are going to have a sleepover on Kendra’s floor.  They are really excited about it.  It’s good to see Anthony excited about spending time with a sibling when punching or hitting isn’t involved, and it eases a little bit of the sting of not having a sleepover to go to.

 

     I’m looking forward to tomorrow, though, when I’ll have all four babies home with me.

 

     I wonder how long it will take before I want to send one back to Grandma’s?  

 

Say Wha…? January 26, 2009

     So, at 5, Hannah is at the delightful stage of development where she is starting to explore words and language.  She can spell a handful of words, she loves to write words on paper, and she writes several (long!) stories each day with that wavy-line text that resembles an EKG printout but looks like prose when used in illustrations.  And then she will narrate said stories… repeatedly.

 

     (I will really, truly miss this when she goes to Kindergarten next year.  Really, I will.)

 

     One thing that is not so delightful is her experimentation with abbreviating words.  It’s cute when she tells me my chocolate candy-cane cake is “dee-lish!” (gotta get that second ‘e’ in there for emphasis) or I am “awes” for getting a good hula-hoop score on the Wii Fit.  While it doesn’t rank as high on the irritating list as, say, spelling out entire paragraphs,

The Transformation Is (Almost?) Complete January 17, 2009

     We were sitting at the table tonight and the kids were picking their jobs for next week.  After the last stick was pulled and the last job written on the job chart, I looked up and noticed that two bowls were still on the table, left there from tonight’s dinner.

 

     “Kendra and Anthony,”  I said, “take your bowls and put them in the sink.”

 

     Only, it wasn’t my voice that came out. 

 

     It was my mom’s.

 

     Not in an oh, that sounds just like something she’d say sort of way, but in a “Holy CRAP, is my mom using me as some sort of ventriloquist’s dummy?” kind of thing.  I almost clapped both hands over my mouth, and I did turn around to see if she was behind me, saying the exact same words at the exact same time.

 

     Nope.

 

     It was me.

 

     Don’t get me wrong– I love my mom.  I adore her.  We are the best of friends.  It’s just that sometimes I feel like a teenager with cool nieces and nephews, rather than a mother.  Or like I’m babysitting for a really extended period of time.  You know, because I’m Kemi, and I’m a mom, sure, but my mom?  SHE’S the mom.  Apparently, time marches on and I am stepping into her role not only physically, but now vocally as well.

 

     I am freaking out.

 

     Hold me.