Kemi, like “chemistry”

Random Musings of the Misunderstood

Guilt February 17, 2008

Filed under: Church,Kemi,kids,sick — Kemi @ 9:37 am
Tags: , , ,


     Our entire family came down with the flu this week, all at the same time.  It’s a horrible strain, one that the flu shot didn’t protect us from.  My kids missed school all week, with the exception of Thursday afternoon when they went for their Valentine’s Day parties.  (I did NOT send them to school sick.  They both seemed to be feeling fine.)  After three hours at school, they were completely drained of energy and ready to crawl into bed for the night.  That seems to be how this strain works…  it drains you of all energy while filling your head with wet sand.  I wake up feeling decent, but by noon the world is tilting 45 degrees to the left.

     Because of this, we are not going to church today.  We didn’t go last week, because a few of the kids were starting to show symptoms.  The week before we skipped our home ward to attend my niece’s baby blessing, and next week is Stake Conference, which means “church vacation” when you have an active 2-year-old and no nursery.  That means we will have missed an ENTIRE MONTH of church in our home ward, and that makes me feel incredibly guilty.

      Is it because I hold a leadership position in our ward and I feel like I need to set a better example?  Is it because our four kids make up roughly one-fifth of the entire primary, so their absence is always felt?  Is it because getting the family ready and out the door by 8:45 AM – by myself!- is such a daunting task I secretly look forward to having a “valid” excuse to stay home? 

     I am not in danger of becoming inactive.  My future exaltation is not at stake because I missed three weeks of church.  I am very, legitimately sick.

      So why do I feel so guilty?


14 Responses to “Guilt”

  1. Accountable Says:

    It would have been MUCH worse if you had attended while sick. We ourselves tend to skip church if both the nursery AND Kidspot (Kind of like CCD for the preschoolers) are not happening. That means we missed the 4th week of Lent and Christmas eve/Christmas morning mass. That means we will also miss Easter Vigil and Easter morning mass.

  2. Yep, I agree with accountable. I think you are setting a good example by taking care of yourself when you and your kids are sick, and not bringing them to church where they might get others sick, too!

    I’m sure everyone underestands. This disease that is going around is the plague, I’m tellin’ ya! I had it too, for two weeks. Icccck.

  3. Mercedes Says:

    Because of all of your thoughts going through your head is why you feel guilty-IMO! Boy, I remember those 3 hours every Sunday at church. It amazes me that other friends and family go to church for like an hour on Sunday. I did enjoy it for the most part~when I was a child. We will have to chat about being a Latter Day Saint sometime~email of course-lol! I just do not like the word excommunicated. You shouldn’t feel guilty at all! You are sick and you also had some other VERY important thins going on that happened to be on Sunday! Anywho~I’m babbling away-so good at it!


  4. High Hopes Says:

    We are a society founded on guilt these days. It seems we feel guilty for being working moms, guilty for not doing enough or too much. Guilty for missing church or church functions. There are so many reasons for feeling guilty.

    You are sick and your entire family is sick, there health is way more important that sitting at church. I am sure that God understands and you have nothing to worry about.

    Cut yourself some slack and don’t sweat the small stuff.

    I had this very same flu and I know exactly what you are talking about, I am feeling better finally after 11 days, but I can tell you at the end of the day I’m ready for bed. Whats worse it seems my dd is coming down with it now. Yikes.

    Hugs to ya Kemi! 🙂

  5. momster Says:

    I second what others have said, and especially HH’s comments. You gotta take care of you, so you can get back to doing what you want/need to do. If you don’t kick back and heal, you won’t get better anytime soon. Hugs.

  6. momster Says:

    I second what others have said, and especially HH’s comments. You gotta take care of you, so you can get back to doing what you want/need to do. If you don’t kick back and heal, you won’t get better anytime soon. Hugs.

  7. pinkbeefs Says:

    I think when you carry the world on your shoulders for a long time, people come to expect that you can keep up that pace and forget that you are human, too. In other words, consider whether you worry too much about what other people think and focus on yourself and getting well. It IS ok to focus on yourself and your health so that you can do all that stuff you’re feeling bad about now again soon. And, it’s not like nothing else has been going on while you’ve been sick. The world keeps turning.

  8. Kemi Says:

    UPDATE– I spent two hours at the doctor’s office today because the pain in my ears was excruciating. I have a double ear infection, a ruptured eardrum and what could possibly be the start of pneumonia.

    She made me promise to stay totally down tomorrow and Friday so my body can start to heal, and I have Lortab to manage the pain and Augmentin for the infections. I have to say, I’m looking forward to staying in bed under a doctor’s orders.

    Beefy- you’re so right. Just because moms do it all doesn’t mean they always should, especially when they are so sick. That’s why marriage is a partnership. (Now to convince Kenny…) 😀

  9. highhopes1 Says:

    Kemi, You need to do as your doctor says or you will end up in the hospital. You don’t want to go there.

    Here is the only thing I need to say to your dh:

    Kenny – You need to step up to the plate son or your wife is going to get so sick you will be forced to be Mr Mom and Mr Dad all at the same time.

    Pneumonia and ear infections like this are absolutely nothing to mess around with. As little as 80 years ago this stuff killed people. – Rant stopping now.

    So please Kemi, rest, drink lots of fluids and sleep as much as you can, don’t make me come down there and kick butt!

    Hugs! Love ya!

  10. Sally Says:

    Hope you get well soon!

  11. Oh no, poor Kemi! I am so, so sorry. That sounds absolutely miserable *hugs!!* FEEL BETTER SOON!

  12. PUR Says:

    Get well soon!

  13. gr8tful Says:

    Hey dear friend! I hope and pray your all doing better!! You are such an amazing lady and I truly don’t know what I would do without all your great advice!! You ROCK!! {HUGS}

  14. pinkbeefs Says:

    Hey, girl, I’m glad you got that checked out and know what’s going on. Like, yeah, hubby better pitch in or you’re all gonna be eating detergent. No way should you be doing anything for what sounds like up to a week except sawing zzz’s, flipping the remote, reading a good book, and just plain “being.” No guilt allowed. Just some pampering. Peace, healing, and good vibes coming your way!!

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