Kemi, like “chemistry”

Random Musings of the Misunderstood

Irrefutable proof that Jim is the world’s biggest idiot. October 4, 2008

    Jim (my sister’s ex and Abbie’s dad) owed me a past-due balance of $135 for child care services provided from March-August of 2008.  Because his firefighter salary of $3,600/month leaves him roughly $25 after all his bills are paid (or so he says), he told the mediator he needed to split this balance over the months of September and October. 


    (Of course, he managed to buy a new car – a Saab! –  and a pure-bred German Shepherd puppy with that $25, but he can’t buy his daughter clothes that fit; nor can he pay for her care while they both work.  I’m in awe of how far he can stretch a dollar– or twenty-five.  Truly.)


    After a heated argument during Friday morning’s pick-up where he flatly refused to pay any child care expenses, he returned with Abbie at 5:30 PM, along with this coffee can full of change for me, and a cashier’s check for Kristi.  Payment for services rendered, or something like that.  My guess is his lawyer told him to pay up or he’d end up back in court for contempt.  (I’m actually a little bummed he paid us.)



     I am not a coffee drinker, but I’d like to point out that this is the BIG can.  Do you know how much a 44-ounce can filled with PENNIES weighs?  I’ll tell you.  It’s 23.5 pounds.  We weighed it, and as soon as our scale dries out (thank you, Anthony), I’ll snap another photo and post it.



     Filled nearly to the brim.


    The magazine is to provide scale.



     A side view, to show how high they were piled.  It was at least 4″.



   Pennies to the left, dimes to the right, with two quarters and a $1 coin in the center.



    My fingers were FILTHY, along with the carpet.  I’m not sure what he put on them, but a good share of the coins were sticky, and most were covered with a black substance.  If I should happen to fall ill in the near future, perhaps one of you could direct the hospital staff (or coroner, whatever) to the 23-pound coffee can full of pennies?  Who knows what sorts of diseases they were covered in?


    I’d also like to state that there were several short, black curly hairs mixed in with the coins.  Ew, ew, eeeewww.



   Notice my hands.  They are so black you can see my palm-prints clearly.  It took three washings for the black to come off.  They still feel a little sticky.



    You’re looking at $31.50.  That means I *should* have 3,600 pennies left to tally.  Of course, Jim insisted that I trust him, even reassuring me he had counted the coins twice to be sure of their accurate total.  I assure you, I trust him about as far as I could pick him up and throw him, javelin-style. 



    Kenny is making a trip to the Coinstar machine later tonight, where I’ll redeem Jim’s tantrum into an i-tunes gift card and an e-certificate for  I’ll let the machine count those potential 3,903 coins to verify their total.


    In parting, I’d like to pose this question:  For his repeated insistences that he was unable to get to the bank to put these coins into cash or check form, how was it that he managed to pay Kristi with a check drawn from his bank?  Dated the same day?


    My guess is, he had to ASK the bank for pennies to fill that can.  And dimes.  It was no coincidence that I had exactly $30 in dimes, I’m sure.  Nor was it a coincidence that dimes and pennies are roughly the same size, making it extremely difficult to separate them for counting.


   Classy.  Such a great guy.  I can’t say it enough.


16 Responses to “Irrefutable proof that Jim is the world’s biggest idiot.”

  1. RACHEL Says:

    DANG, NOW THAT IS CLASS! First class (to nowhere!)

    Wow….I honestly feel so sorry you have to even mention this guy, let alone actually SPEAK to him.

  2. sparky Says:

    Yeah, babe. This guy definitely rocks … unfortunately, all the rocks are in his (butt)head. I am so sorry you are dealing with this, but Abbie and your sister are so blessed to have you and Kenny to go to bat for her.

    So, he short-changed you (giggling at my pun there. get it short “changed”? snort)

    Does this mean you can take him to court?

  3. Rebecca Says:

    Doesn’t coin star keep some of the money? You should charge him that 8.9% convenience fee. Considering thats the fee that coinstar supposedly charges, I think its fair.

  4. Rebecca Says:

    Currently its Winter Quarters (Omaha) Nebraska, and thats 3.5 hours away. Second closest is St Louis at 4.5 hours. So looking at less than an hour is pretty amazing!

  5. lifeofdi Says:

    Wow. I’m always amazed at the extreme jerkiness of some people. Sorry you had to touch the sticky (and hairy) coins…

  6. High Hopes Says:

    Hey Kemi,

    You should let him go longer and maybe when he carries the can of coinage next time he will get double hernias.

    What a goof! $3,000 bucks a month he makes, that is not bad money compared to what most people make. He is single isn’t he, so all he should have expense wise is food, rent, support, etc.

    What a lazy ‘looser’.

  7. Wendy Says:

    seriously what a jerk…the words “white trash” are written all over that little routine.

  8. kweenmama Says:

    As the daughter of a former fire chief and the sister of a current firefighter can I just say that Jim puts a bad name on a profession I have long admired. What a total loser!

  9. High Hopes Says:

    Kweenmama – I don’t think you should feel badly, there are jerks in every profession. The general public understands and admires firefighters for everything they do and such a noble job.

  10. K. Trainor Says:

    What a perfect candidate for my 2×4 of Reason! Regardless of his feelings for you, he could be civil on behalf of his daughter. Asshat. Next time he pulls any crap about paying, I’d check into what it takes to have his check garnished.

  11. Goldie Says:

    Seriously? No way. I mean, seriously????

    *grumble grumble*

    I am aghast at the jerkiness of some people.

  12. pppj Says:

    Wow. I am just so happy YOU get to watch his daughter so she is with someone sane and normal and not with him.
    What a piece of work. Your sister is sooooo much better without him!

  13. Kemi Says:

    Truer words, PPPJ, truer words…

    I just wanted to thank everyone who took the time to comment on this thread. It makes me feel justified in feeling the way I do about him, and it’s been incredibly uplifting for my sister to read that not everyone thinks he should be revered, solely on the basis of his profession.

    (You’d be shocked if you knew all the things she was encouraged to give up by the mediator and her OWN attorney, for the sake of “giving back” to such a humble public servant. It makes me sick just to type it.)

    I have the best (and most beautiful!) readers in the whole blog universe! 🙂

  14. sparky Says:

    OMgosh, Kemi, I certainly hope your sister is uplifted! Remember that we also know if a certain male freak in a career analagous to firefighting, with much more responsibility, who is also not to be admired.

    Light bulb moment: It’s not the job that makes the man, it’s the MAN that . . . well, you get the drift.

    I would fight that dipstick tooth and nail to get full custody of my little girl, and I wouldn’t shed one tear. Jim stinks, plain and simple. God help him, if he’ll cooperate it, but meanwhile Jim stinks!

  15. High Hopes Says:


    It blows me away to think because someone has an uplifting profession it puts them on a pedestal. Just because someone is a firefighter, doctor, pastor, etc., doesn’t put them over the rest of us. Infact I know some pretty nice people who are honest and decent human beings who are garbage men, labourers, etc. Just because you have a job that puts in you a position to be noble doesn’t mean that you will be.

    It is sad that the lawyers used his public servant position as leverage in the the legal proceedings. Seems to me someone was playing unfair. If you really want to know the most noble profession, it is motherhood and he should bow down and worship the ground she walks on and do everything in his power to assist her in raising Abbie.

  16. […] to spend not a penny of it on bills (thanks, Dad!), and a gift card to  Oh, and an i-tunes gift card for $67.50, although that wasn’t a birthday gift;  rather, it just happened to be cashed in on my […]

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