Jim (my sister’s ex and Abbie’s dad) owed me a past-due balance of $135 for child care services provided from March-August of 2008. Because his firefighter salary of $3,600/month leaves him roughly $25 after all his bills are paid (or so he says), he told the mediator he needed to split this balance over the months of September and October.
(Of course, he managed to buy a new car – a Saab! – and a pure-bred German Shepherd puppy with that $25, but he can’t buy his daughter clothes that fit; nor can he pay for her care while they both work. I’m in awe of how far he can stretch a dollar– or twenty-five. Truly.)
After a heated argument during Friday morning’s pick-up where he flatly refused to pay any child care expenses, he returned with Abbie at 5:30 PM, along with this coffee can full of change for me, and a cashier’s check for Kristi. Payment for services rendered, or something like that. My guess is his lawyer told him to pay up or he’d end up back in court for contempt. (I’m actually a little bummed he paid us.)
I am not a coffee drinker, but I’d like to point out that this is the BIG can. Do you know how much a 44-ounce can filled with PENNIES weighs? I’ll tell you. It’s 23.5 pounds. We weighed it, and as soon as our scale dries out (thank you, Anthony), I’ll snap another photo and post it.
The magazine is to provide scale.
A side view, to show how high they were piled. It was at least 4″.
Pennies to the left, dimes to the right, with two quarters and a $1 coin in the center.
My fingers were FILTHY, along with the carpet. I’m not sure what he put on them, but a good share of the coins were sticky, and most were covered with a black substance. If I should happen to fall ill in the near future, perhaps one of you could direct the hospital staff (or coroner, whatever) to the 23-pound coffee can full of pennies? Who knows what sorts of diseases they were covered in?
I’d also like to state that there were several short, black curly hairs mixed in with the coins. Ew, ew, eeeewww.
Notice my hands. They are so black you can see my palm-prints clearly. It took three washings for the black to come off. They still feel a little sticky.
You’re looking at $31.50. That means I *should* have 3,600 pennies left to tally. Of course, Jim insisted that I trust him, even reassuring me he had counted the coins twice to be sure of their accurate total. I assure you, I trust him about as far as I could pick him up and throw him, javelin-style.
Kenny is making a trip to the Coinstar machine later tonight, where I’ll redeem Jim’s tantrum into an i-tunes gift card and an e-certificate for Amazon.com. I’ll let the machine count those potential 3,903 coins to verify their total.
In parting, I’d like to pose this question: For his repeated insistences that he was unable to get to the bank to put these coins into cash or check form, how was it that he managed to pay Kristi with a check drawn from his bank? Dated the same day?
My guess is, he had to ASK the bank for pennies to fill that can. And dimes. It was no coincidence that I had exactly $30 in dimes, I’m sure. Nor was it a coincidence that dimes and pennies are roughly the same size, making it extremely difficult to separate them for counting.
Classy. Such a great guy. I can’t say it enough.