For the past few days, I’ve heard Anthony utter a phrase that, while relatively innocent in comparison to what it could be, has me rattled.
When I first heard it, I told myself it couldn’t possibly be what I thought I heard, so I went on with what I was doing and forgot all about it. Later, he repeated it again in front of my parents and brother (it sent Kevin into a fit of giggles, which was TOTALLY worth it), but I was on my way up the stairs with an armful of laundry, and in the time it took to climb the last five steps and walk twenty feet to the couch, I had completely forgotten. (Tangent alert: So, that Mommy-brain? Yeah, I totally have it. Can’t remember didily squat. Not a single thi… … … wait, where were we?)
When I took a six-cheese pizza out of the oven today, he asked me to lift him high enough to see all the melted cheese. I did, and when he saw the pizza, he blurted out, “HOLY CRAP! That’s a lot of cheese!” Two things immediately popped into my head: 1) Where did he LEARN that phrase? No one in our house says it! and 2) Why does it sound so endearing when kids say inappropriate things? It was completely inappropriate, and yet, I wanted to pinch his cheeks and give him a big, sloppy kiss. Because when my two-year-old says it, it sounds more like “Hoh-wee cwap”.
I guess there’s always secret option number three… I have the emotional maturity of a nine-year-old boy. (I have one! I know how they are!)
We had a quick talk and I told Anthony that it wasn’t something a nice boy like him should say. (Yes, I actually said it with a straight face. Hello, Target meltdown?) As a family, we came up with some funny alternatives for him to use instead, and I have to say, I can’t wait to hear which one he’ll choose. It will probably be a mixture of several, as in, “holy designer mackerels” or “cheese and potholders”.
Kenny: Oh, crackers!
Kemi: Holy cow!
Alex: Sweet designer potholders!
Kendra: What the heck?
Hannah: Holy mackerel! (which she actually uses regularly. Hilarious!)
No matter what, even if it’s the original version, I’m sure I’ll have a hard time keeping a straight face.