Kemi, like “chemistry”

Random Musings of the Misunderstood

Scissors and scalpels and cauterization*… February 18, 2009

Filed under: body,health care,Kemi — Kemi @ 8:56 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

(*hum to the tune of “My Favorite Things”)


     Last month, I went in for a physical.  And some major blood work.  And a tetanus shot.


     Good times.


     Sore arms.


     Yesterday, I was able to meet with the doctor to go over my blood test results.  Long story short:  generally healthy, but lacking Vitamin D, and cholesterol was out of whack.  Good was too low, and bad was too high, but easily fixable.  No big deal.  He suggested a few different medications, and then settled on Metformin, which (I am crossing my fingers) will be some sort of magic cure-all pill for the PCOS and the cholesterol.  Plus, it’s supposed to help with weight loss, so really, who wouldn’t be excited to take it?


     Then we moved to another room so he could perform a mole-ectomy.  (I just made that word up, but it could SO be a real word.)


     *cue dramatic music*


     As this wasn’t my first time, I figured it would be no big deal.  You get the numbing shot, then the scalpel, then the cauterizer, and then a band-aid.  Easy.


     You’d think.


     This doctor used scissors instead of a scalpel, so after suffering through the “just a baby bee sting” shot (bee sting my PATOOTIE!  What sort of giant killer bees sting YOU?), I had to listen to the “snip, snip, snip” of his scissors as he cut through the– *gag*– fibrous– *gag*– tissue.  My cheeks started to feel hot, and I almost put my hand on the wall, in case I fell into it.  He asked me repeatedly if I was okay, and I swear, I thought I was, but by the time he had finished his snipping, the room was spinning and there was this rushing sound in my ears.  (How does a mole the size of a pencil eraser warrant 25-30 snips with sterile scissors?  *shudder*  I can NOT think about it any more.  I’m starting to get light-headed.)


     They had me lay down on the bed, and after a minute, they decided I’d do better sitting up.  The doctor brought me a bottle of apple juice, and I laughed like an idiot, falling all over myself with apologies about how silly I was acting.


     I felt like such a tool.


     (Oh, and it gets better.)


     The nurse thought the burnt-flesh smell might be what was making me sick, so they moved me down a long hallway and sat me in some chairs by the front door.  I was fine walking, but as I sat there, the rushing sound came back, so I sipped some apple juice and rested my head against the wall.  Almost immediately I felt hot, and I thought to myself, If I don’t put my head between my knees, I’m going to pass out.


     And then I was dreaming.


     Or so I thought…


     I heard, “Kemi!  Kemi!  KEMI!”  I opened my eyes and tried to remember where I was and why someone was waking me up.  (Seriously– I could have been 16 again, and the nurse could have been my mom, calling me to get up for school.  I was THAT out of it.)  The nurse laughed at me (nicely) and said, “I think you just passed out.”  Then she handed me my bottle of apple juice, which I must have dropped when I was unconscious.


     (You can’t take me ANYWHERE without me making a fool of myself, I’m afraid.)


     After at least 30 minutes of observation, they decided it was safe to let me drive home.  I managed to make it there in one piece, but I was met at the door by five hungry people who wanted to know why I had been gone for two hours and what on earth they were going to eat for dinner.


     We had cold cereal. 


     (Don’t you wish you lived at my house?)  (That was rhetorical.  No response necessary, okay?) 


     It was all worth it, though, because I have magic Metformin pills.  FINALLY.   😀


6 Responses to “Scissors and scalpels and cauterization*…”

  1. kweenmama Says:

    Ewww, you make the “molectomy” sound absolutely horrifying. I’ve only fainted once in my life…in the Temple. It was embarrassing. I was nine months pregnant at the time, which was my excuse. Hope your magic pills work!

  2. Meredith McIlrath Says:

    Ugh! Isn’t that the worst feeling… knowing you’re goin’ down?! One time I had to go into a post op appointment with the Dr. I work for. It was a particularly “unpleasant” post op. About 2 minutes into it I started feeling feverish and nauseous. I looked over into the mirror and I had NO color. Then the weird noise started and my vision started going all tunnel-ish. I quickly exited the room. The Dr. came out and got me a drink and had me put my head down. it was OOBER embarrassing. What business do I have working in a Dr’s office?!

  3. How awful! I definitely would have fainted under those circumstances. I can’t believe they let you drive home.

  4. High Hopes Says:

    Did you know that the “mole” is called a nevus or if you have more than one they are called nevi. Sorry that is the medical secretary coming out in me.

    I wonder why everyone has bad mole experiences? It seems everyone I know that has a mole removed have had similar experiences.

    No wonder you felt faint and then proceeded to faint. My girlfriend had one removed and fainted, bad thing was she was wearing a skirt and it came up around her ears when she landed on the ground. Now that is embarassing. Count your blessings.

    Hope you are feeling better!

  5. Rachel Says:

    oh man! I had a mole removed, but didn’t have too bad of an effect. Though, it was removed from my face and I remember seeing the blood oozing down my face, and that was pretty gross.

    We would have eaten cold cereal too–trust me. 🙂

    Hope you are feeling better!

  6. Jake Says:

    Just thought I would share this…I found a way to get rid of moles without freezing them off, and without surgery.

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