Kemi, like “chemistry”

Random Musings of the Misunderstood

Alone April 23, 2010

Filed under: marriage — Kemi @ 8:39 pm

     So, I am by myself tonight.  Well, as by myself as I can be with three kids, two dogs and a cat.  But Kenny took Alex on his first boy scout overnight campout (try saying that ten times fast), so it means that I am temporarily single.  Well, *technically* I am still married, but separated.  Okay, so temporarily  separated.  But still married.  Whatever.  I think I am making it too difficult.  Let’s try this again, shall we?


     Tonight, I get the bed all to myself.


     And there it is.  Simple.  Wonderful.  This?  Is a big, big deal.


     You see, my husband doesn’t travel for work.  Yes, when we were first married, he did work nights, but there was always a part of the night that he was home.  Yes, there have been a few instances where one of us slept on the couch in order to avoid the other (so much for that “in sickness and in health” thing, as well as the “never go to bed angry” one), and I’m embarrassed to admit just how many times one (or both!) of us fall asleep on the couch and wake up at 3 AM with the tv blaring and a horrible crick in the neck  (Some of us are old, okay?  I mean, one of us– not me, but one of us– just turned 40, for crying out loud!), but we’re still under the same roof, if not the same ceiling.


     I rarely get the whole bed to myself, is what I’m saying.


     The last time we didn’t spend at least some part of the night together, which was also the first time*, I was seven months pregnant with Alex, and Kenny earned a three-day reward trip to Las Vegas through his work.  I was furious and heartbroken and terrified I’d have the baby (which was highly unlikely, but try explaining that to an irrational pregnant woman who was convinced that her husband was going to miss the birth of their first child, just the way her father did hers) (stupid, stupid  deer hunt, and being born six weeks early on the opening day of it) (it’s a wonder my parents are still together).  I spent a very long three days teaching obnoxious fifth graders, and an even longer three nights worrying about all the ways my husband was going to leave our child fatherless by riding the Stratosphere and doing bungee jumping and all the other “guy” nonsense they had planned.


     Oh, how things have changed in eleven years.


     See, this time?  I was excited for him to go.  I have a mental list of all the things I can do with my night, once I send the three remaining children to bed.  (“You want to sleep downstairs?  Great!  Take a movie.  Take THREE movies!  Have a party downstairs while Mommy stays upstairs and does boring stuff, like laundry and cleaning.”  Which begs the question,  How low have I stooped?   but requires no answer, because really, I don’t want to know.)


     All I can think is, So much to do;  so little time.  (After all, they will be back by noon tomorrow.)


I could:

  • Load the dishwasher, as the sink and counter are full of dirty dishes and we have resorted to eating with plastic spoons because I haven’t unloaded the dishwasher from two days ago  (likely…  maybe)
  • Allow my children to make their OWN dinners, consisting of varied quantities of toast, yogurt and cold cereal (DONE!)
  • Catch up on my DVR shows  (probable)
  • Work on some cross-stitch and/or yo-yo flowers (possible)
  • Write a blog post, completely ignoring my almost-two-month-absence from it (definite)
  • Hang out on facebook and play a few games online (done!)
  • Put laundry away (are you kidding me?  Tonight?)
  • Open the window in the bedroom, and add another blanket to the bed, just so I can be warm while I freeze (definite)
  • Plan the music for Sunday’s singing time (possible, but unlikely)
  • Clean the fishtank (probable, since the fish are temporarily swimming in a drinking cup, and I’m not sure how long they’ll last in there.  Stinky little goldfish.  Stupid sink full of dirty dishes.) (Oh, wait!  There’s the bathroom sink!)
  • Empty bags of trash from my kids’ rooms while they are otherwise occupied, because I don’t care if I hurt the feelings of the torn magazines, wrinkled art papers, broken toys and old wrappers by tossing them ruthlessly away (necessary, but improbable, at least tonight)
  • Sew (ha!  I am still recovering from Easter!  DEFINITE NO!!!)
  • Read (probable…  maybe even through the night)
  • Stay up way too late (definite)
  • Fall asleep on the couch (probable)
  • Enjoy the luxury of a bed all to myself (definite)
  • Consume vast quantities of Wild Cherry Pepsi and ice water (not together, but alternately, to cancel each other out) (that’s how that works, right?)   (definite)
  • Feel bad that my husband and eldest son are freezing outdoors after three days of rain (definite)
  • Secretly, selfishly hope that these clouds don’t send them home early (definite)



     So there you have it.  I’m off to enjoy my night!  After all, another one probably won’t come around again for another 11 years!



*(With the exception of my hospital stays…  I forgot about those.  And I guess there was that one other  time where he stayed at the ward campout with Alex and Kendra because Hannah was only 1, and I was pregnant and NOT sleeping on the ground, and Kendra ended up getting sick several times in the night, throwing up all over the tent and sleeping bags while I slept blissfully unaware at home.)


5 Responses to “Alone”

  1. I’m a single Mom this weekend too. Hubby is with my Dad and family for a golf trip. Joy oh joy! I can’t stay up too late though, I have a 5K tomorrow morning.

  2. Rachel Says:

    Kemi–With Brandon leaving for 2 months, this has to be what I am most excited about–HAVING MY OWN BIG BED~!

    I will miss him in a lot of ways–really a lot. But having my own big bed is DREAMY! 🙂

    • Kemi Says:

      I completely understand. I think if Kenny was gone for long stretches at a time (or traveled frequently for work) it would get old, and I would really miss him, but I’m not so opposed to a few nights every month. 😀

  3. Sounds delightful!!

  4. kweenmama Says:

    When I was a single mom I got used to having the bed all to myself. Then I got remarried. WHAT was I thinking??!?

    Just kidding.

    I know how wonderful a break like that can be….

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