Kemi, like “chemistry”

Random Musings of the Misunderstood

Forever in the Doghouse: A cautionary tale for husbands on how NOT to react when your wife finds her (seemingly) first gray hair. October 5, 2010

Filed under: Kemi,Kenny — Kemi @ 6:07 pm
Tags: , , , ,

The title says it all, no?

 

I lived a great majority of my life as a natural (dark) blonde, but my hair has a lot of red undertones. I’ve only colored it a handful of times (partly because I’m a huge chicken, and partly because it’s so darn expensive to have it done professionally), but depending on how the sun hits it, my hair color could seemingly change from day to day. It still can, only it’s from drab to… drabb-er. Or slightly less drab. [This was made known to me by my children, when making my Mii. I selected yellow hair, which made them giggle and say, “Your hair is SO NOT blonde, Mom!” and I had to get up and look in the mirror, because since when was I a brunette? (The answer to that is “Since NEVER”, because I am not dark enough to be brunette, but certainly not blonde anymore, either.) At least I could hold my head up high and proudly declare that there was not a single gray hair on my head.]

 

(Stop laughing.)

 

(Seriously, stop laughing. I was really sincere, albeit mistaken, in my declarations.)

 

I dyed my hair a lovely shade of red just before Christmas, and it’s quietly faded back to its not-really-a-definable-color blonde (brown?). With the fade came… (I can barely say it)… A GRAY HAIR. And then another, and then another. Stupid Loreal Superior Preference 4R– you made me go gray! I went out to tell Kenny about my horrifying discovery, and he could barely contain his laughter. (The jerk.)

 

“Kenny,” I wailed. “Look at this! And this! And this! I found gray hairs!”

 

“And?” he responded.

 

“AND they’re GRAY!” I said. “I’m officially OLD!” (To the man who has been steadily graying over the past 15 years. In hindsight, I deserved no compassion.)

 

“And?” he responded again.

 

“AND,” I said, confused, “they are my first ones. This is a really big deal to me! Well, at least I made it to 35 before I started going gray.”

 

To which he responded (with way too much mirth and way too little sympathy), “Oh, Honey. *giggle* You’ve had gray hairs for YEARS.”

 

And then the realization dawned that when I’m using the flat iron in my bathroom, and the sun streams in through the tiny frosted window, and the hair on my head erupts into a reddish-golden halo with countless metallic strands of follicular loveliness, well, those metallic strands are GRAY, not gold, and there are a LOT of them.

 

And suddenly coming up with $75 for professional highlights feels less like a luxury and more like a necessity. As part of his punishment, I think I’ll make Kenny pay for them.

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9 Responses to “Forever in the Doghouse: A cautionary tale for husbands on how NOT to react when your wife finds her (seemingly) first gray hair.”

  1. Rachel Says:

    hahaha!!! oh no! That’s hilarious–

    darn that Kenny! Way to burst your bubble. 🙂 lol

  2. SewDucky! Says:

    I went prematurely grey. Came out of birthing my son, at 24, with a streak right in front. Not really gray so much as BRIGHT WHITE. I kinda feel you, but I look at my oldest sister who dyes her hair an unnatural shade of black (she had dark brown hair), and when she proudly says she has NO GREY hair, I simply smirk because my hair is now twice the thickness hers is.

    • Jeri Says:

      I always suspected there was a really good reason why we can’t see the back of our head! I’m sorry that L’Oreal did this to you, Kemi. In this day and age, I see no reason why a class action lawsuit would not be in order. Due to the number of us who would (probably) qualify, we might each, at least, come out of it with a coupon for a box of Clairol Nice’n’Easy. Seriously, Kenny does SO deserve to pay for professional highlights.

  3. kweenmama Says:

    It is my kids who like to tease me about my gray…which I recently colored. I don’t color as often as the salon folks think I should…$$$$ ya know….but every once in awhile I get tired of looking at the gray…

  4. Nicole Says:

    I distinctly remember seeing my first gray hairs. I was 21. Rosie was about 9 months, and was napping, so I thought I’d take a quick shower. Then I saw the dreaded grays in the mirror afterward. I started crying…and cried so loud that it woke Rosie up in the room next to me.

    I’m still in denial though. I pluck my grays a few times a week. Don’t judge.

  5. Tami Says:

    You are hilarious! I miss your monthly visits. I miss you.

  6. Wendy Says:

    too cute Kemi you are so funny!

  7. stephanie Says:

    Oh Kemi, that is hilarious and sad. My biggest fear of getting older is the hair. I have been finding some of that one color you talked about here and there and it literally has brought me to my knees. Yeah, Kenny IS forever in the doghouse 😉


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