…after you drop a stack of Pampered Chef stoneware pans on your big toe, it:
1. HURTS enough to say the really bad swear word.
2. Is possible to keep from saying that word by collapsing into a heap on the kitchen floor while yelling and pounding the floor with your fists.
3. Makes the whole house come running.
4. Causes your toenail to turn black in less than one minute.
5. Makes you shake and twitch uncontrollably as your body tries to process the excruciating pain.
6. Suddenly makes sense how people could pull their own hair out in agony.
7. Takes 4 Advil exactly 42 minutes to bring the pain down to a manageable level. (From an 11 to a 6.5 on the pain scale.)
8. Means your sister and her almost-fiance, who works in the ER, love you enough to interrupt their date in order to assess the injury. (Thank you, Kristi and Jason! So sorry you went back to cold pizza!)
9. Makes absolutely no difference to a hungry baby who wants to nurse.
10. Earns you the night “off” , which is code for a sink full of dirty dinner dishes that will wait until morning for you to tackle them. *sigh*
Take my word for it: Do NOT try this at home.