Kemi, like “chemistry”

Random Musings of the Misunderstood

It’s all about perspective… January 1, 2014

Filed under: Natalie,Sam,sick — Kemi @ 12:07 pm

It felt like I had just fallen into bed, just closed my eyes, just drifted off to sleep when I felt the sharp jab in my ribs.

 

“Honey, Sam threw up in the crib.  I need to you to wake up.”

(Which, let’s be real, really meant, “It’s disgusting and smelly, and I don’t want to do it.”)

 

Poor Sam.  He has had a nasty cold for over a week, and now that it’s (mostly) settled into his chest, when he coughs too hard, he tends to throw up a little.  Not a big deal, really.  I stripped his sheets, remade the bed, tossed the soiled stuff in an empty basket, and tucked him back in.  I was back in bed by 3 AM.  It took less than 15 minutes.  Just as I was drifting off, I thought, “Well there’s a great start to 2014!”

 

An hour later, Natalie woke up to eat.  I stubbed my little toe on the way to the couch.  Then I sat on a toy that had worked its way between the cushions.  When I crawled back into bed, I discovered that Kenny had stolen all the covers.  “Wow.  2014 REALLY sucks!” I thought to myself as I fought for a corner of sheet.

 

Natalie woke me up again before 8 AM.  (Someone didn’t get the “Post New-Year Sleep in Late” memo.)  Once I got her settled with a bottle, I signed into Facebook to complain about my eventful night.  I was looking for sympathy.  What I found was a message from a very close friend of mine, telling me her beloved mother-in-law had passed away.

 

Suddenly, nighttime vomit and a stubbed toe seemed less catastrophic– dramatically so.  I will not be spending my New Year planning a funeral, or comforting my grieving husband, or explaining death to my children.  A washing machine and a quick nap will fix everything for me.  There is no quick, easy fix for her.  Her sorrow will last a lot longer than the pain from my stubbed toe.

 

That’s all for now.  I’m off to hug my kids, and to tell my parents I love them.

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Tales from Motherland September 11, 2013

Filed under: motherhood,Natalie — Kemi @ 2:35 pm
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My friend Jeri (Hi, Jeri!) complimented my blog this morning, and linked to it on her Facebook account.  Gaaah!  It hasn’t been updated in three months!  Suddenly there’s so much pressure to write!  I’m not even going to shoot for funny (don’t you DARE stop reading!  Eyes back here, NOW!);  I just need words on the page.

 

There is so much to say, and I am too busy to say it.  That’s the irony of having a blog when you’re a mother:  there is always material, but you’re too _______________ to write about it.  (You’re welcome to fill in the blank with any of the following words (or choose one of your own!):  tired, irritated, overwhelmed, exhausted, angry, frazzled, tired, forgetful, hungry, distracted, lazy.

 

For example, I posted this on Facebook yesterday:

It never fails… when I don’t shower or get dressed in the morning, one of my kids will get sick at school and need to be picked up, and I’ll run into everyone I know.

It’s the mom walk of shame, and unfortunately, I walk it well.

 

What I did not share on Facebook, but that I don’t mind sharing with you, is that I swapped out my pajama bottoms for a pair of jeans, and tried to hid the fact that I was bra-less under a hoodie.  Double bonus points because it also covered up some mysterious stains on my pajama shirt.  (Mystery solved!  I have young kids!)  Yes, it was 80+ degrees outside, and I chose a hoodie and long pants because I didn’t want to put on my bra.  Oh, and because I haven’t done laundry in a week or four, and those were quite possibly the only clean clothes in my closet.

 

And then I ran into the mom of one of Hannah’s friends who was substituting at the school.  “Oh, Kemi!” she said, startled.  “Is that you?  I didn’t even recognize you.”  Bless her for saying that, although I suspect she was just being kind.  And then, when I told her how nice she looked, she said, “I rarely dress up, so when I have a reason to look pretty, I embrace it.”  I thought about hugging her, but I remembered the baby stains and the no bra thing and decided to smile, instead.  I was grateful that I had the foresight to chew a couple of mint Mentos on my way out the door, because I couldn’t remember if I had brushed my teeth or not.  My appearance is all smoke and mirrors, people.  (And spit up.  And deodorant.  And ponytails.  And hoodies.  God bless hoodies.)

 

See?  Material.  But then I spent the rest of my day managing the child who was too sick to stay at school, but not sick enough for computer games, fighting with his sister (who was truly, legitimately sick), chasing his little brother, and generally driving everyone in the house CRAZY because his mean mom wouldn’t give in and let him play the Wii all afternoon, and by the time all the kids were in bed, I was practically comatose.  (“Dinner” was peanut butter and jelly on leftover hot dog buns, for crying out loud.)

 

So much to write, but so little energy.

 

I could also talk about my sweet baby Natalie (Hi, Natalie!) who is now FOUR MONTHS OLD.

(Isn’t she cute?  We love her to pieces.  She is my chunky monkey.)

 

You might want to hear less about how much she poops (she has been alive for 131 days, and has had, AT MINIMUM, 110 blowouts that necessitated complete outfit changes… NOT EVEN KIDDING), but like I said above, it’s material.  I got her up this morning and changed her diaper, and the minute it was off, she released her bladder and peed all over the couch.  ALL OVER.  I was so shocked, all I could do was sit there and watch, her feet clasped in my left hand, as it dribbled out like a bubbling fountain and seeped into the microfiber cushions.  Clearly, I have become less of a “Morning Person”, and more of a “Never Quite Achieves Full Consciousness At Any Point in the Day Person”.  I’m afraid my reflexes are firing a little slow, lately.  And, because my daughter not only has incredible volume, but impeccable aim, she managed to get her pajamas wet.  Soaked, actually.  And they were tucked up behind her neck, so you do the math.  Geometry was never my strongest subject.

 

Then, not even an hour later, I left her on the *other* couch cushion  (you know, the one that wasn’t wet and didn’t smell like Amoxicillin pee…  thank you, ear infection!) while I dragged the middle kids out of bed and got them going.  Then one of the dogs threw up, so I let them outside, cleaned it up, and took an armful of clothes downstairs to put in the washer.  Two steps into the laundry room, my foot hit something soft and squishy and slippery.  I didn’t know whether to be relieved or even more disgusted when it turned out to be chunky dog vomit and not poop.  So washing the dog bed and blankets became Priority One for the day, until I went back upstairs and heard, “Mom?  Natalie’s stinky.  Bad-stinky.  BAD.”

 

Do I even need to spell it out?  Probably not, but I’m going to.  It was a veritable poo-splosion, bubbling over the top of her diaper and squeezing past the flimsy elastic leg guards.  It was everywhere, including the couch cushion.  The kids are so used to the Natalie-Blowout drill, they moved into position with military precision (and without a word from me).  Anthony grabbed a used towel to put under her, and then found a plastic grocery sack and held it open.  Hannah searched the clean laundry basket for a new outfit.  Sam grabbed the wipes and a clean diaper, and put them within my reach on the coffee table.  Five minutes and 40 wipes later, she was fresh and clean, but the couch needed some major attention.  All I could do was throw a towel on it and yell, “DON’T SIT THERE!  DON’T SIT DOWN!  KEEP OFF OF THE TOWEL!” any time anyone got within two feet of the couch.  Once the kids left for school, the cleaning frenzy began.

 

Let me just say, vinyl upholstery covers and those glittery plastic runners my grandma used on her carpet have never held so much appeal.

 

So THIS is why I am an infrequent updater.  So much to say, but so little time.  So little energy.  So much laundry.

SO. MUCH. LAUNDRY.

 

Auf wiedersehen, for now.  Until we meet again…  like maybe when Natalie is out of diapers.  (Ha!)

 

One Month June 4, 2013

Filed under: motherhood,Natalie — Kemi @ 11:11 am
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Natalie is one month old today.  (Yesterday, now, since I am posting after midnight.)

 

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(Oh, yeah!  I survived one month!)

I had grand plans for a blog post– with photo!– of her milestone day.  I thought I’d get her dressed up in a cute outfit and snap some adorable pictures of her, but it’s only been one month.

 

Do you know what one month looks like?

 

*One month looks like a month’s worth of laundry, both clean and dirty, waiting to be washed and/or put away.  They are slowly creeping together, making it hard to distinguish between the two.

*One month looks like a perpetual sink full of dirty dishes.

*One month looks like toys and books scattered from room to room (thank you, Sam!).

*One month looks like Zombie Mom and no sleep.

*One month looks like a disheveled ponytail, no makeup, unshaven legs, and mismatched clothes (when pajamas won’t do).

*One month looks like a plain white onesie and some cell phone shots on Mom’s bed, rather than a picture in a cute outfit and the “real” camera.

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One month is hard.  One month is so, SO hard.

 

One month is worth it, though.  One month is this face, peeking out at me from the folds of her swaddling blankets.  It’s the rhythm of her sucking, and the way she reacts to hearing my voice.  It’s the time we have together in the middle of the night, when no one else is awake. It’s the secrets I whisper to her, and the tears I cry that only she hears.

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One month may not be perfect to anyone else, but it’s perfect for me.