Kemi, like “chemistry”

Random Musings of the Misunderstood

NAUGHTY! December 9, 2011

Filed under: Anthony,Christmas,Holidays,motherhood — Kemi @ 2:15 pm
Tags: , , , , ,

It’s that time of year when some (one) of my children begin to fear that their (his) behavior hasn’t been quite up to standard over the past 11 months.  Panic (and hilarity) has begun to set in.

 

Example 1:  The child who never fails to tell me how fat I am and how pregnant I still look (he’s a real gem, that one), will cover his ears and burst into tears every time Kendra starts singing her choir song about an overweight Santa.  It’s a delightful song, and by the time she gets to the chorus, we are laughing at the lyrics AS WELL AS Anthony’s histrionics.  For some reason, he is terrified that Santa will categorize the entire family as troublemakers and skip our house altogether, not realizing that Anthony is the lone defender of Santa’s waistline.

 

Because it makes perfect sense to protect Santa, who only brings one gift, and relentlessly mock his mother, who provides the rest of the holiday haul, as well as the gifts for his mid-December birthday.  And has half of Santa’s girth.

 

Perhaps this year, Santa will bring the gift and Mommy will give the coal!  Or she will just sing the song over and over and over again, to mess with his head.  (It would serve him right, don’t you think?)

 

(to the tune of “Jingle Bells”)

Santa Claus, Santa Claus, you are much too fat!

I was sleeping peacefully and now my bed is flat!

Oh, Santa Claus, Santa Claus, how much do you weigh?

I’d hate to be a reindeer who has to pull your sleigh.

 

 

Example 2:  He spent last evening re-writing his Christmas list.  There are only a few items on it, which is surprising.  (Maybe he set the bar low, thinking it might earn him some extra points with the big guy in red.) (Not to be confused with the fat woman in pink.)

 

He declined my offer to mail it to Santa;  instead, he brought it into the family room to read it aloud.  “It’s so the elves can hear,” he informed me.  (We have two elves who visit us from the North Pole each December.)  “Game Boy, robot, GB charger, Cars bed.  Do you hear that, Elves?” And then, to me:  “‘Cause they’re the ones who actually make the stuff.”

 

 

While I applaud his determination, I can’t help but think that if he’d just behave himself ALL YEAR LONG, December wouldn’t be quite so stressful for him.

Advertisements
 

A Christmas Trifecta December 27, 2009

Filed under: Christmas — Kemi @ 9:21 pm
Tags: , , ,

Why Grandma Claus is even better than Santa:

2007,

2008,

and (drumroll, please!)

2009.

*wiping a tear*

*wiping another tear*

 

Chocolate Candy Cane Cake February 16, 2009

Filed under: Christmas — Kemi @ 8:47 pm
Tags: , , , ,

I just realized that I never posted this recipe.  (Sorry, Rachel!)  Since we’re supposed to wake up to a huge snow storm tomorrow morning, I figure this recipe is still relevant.  🙂

 

 

candy-cane-cake

 

Chocolate Candy Cane Cake

 

1 package chocolate cake mix

1 package (3.9 oz) Chocolate Instant Pudding

4 eggs

1 container (8 oz.) sour cream

½ cup oil

½ cup water

1 cup chocolate chips

1 tsp. peppermint extract

1 tub (8 oz.) Cool Whip

12-15 small candy canes (about 3/4 cup) crushed

 

 

Heat oven to 350.  Lightly grease sheet cake pan.  Beat first 8 ingredients in large bowl with mixer on low speed just until moistened, stopping frequently to scrape side of bowl.  Beat on medium speed 2 minutes.  (Batter will be extremely thick.)  Spoon into prepared pan.

 

Bake 30-35 minutes, or until toothpick inserted in center comes out clean.  Cool completely.  Frost cake with Cool Whip.  Sprinkle with crushed candy canes just before serving.  Keep refrigerated.

 

 

This cake is one of the best I’ve ever made.  I served it at a family dinner, and everyone had at least two pieces, which is unheard of for them.  I altered the original recipe, which can be found here.

I leave you with what I affectionately call, “Aftermath”…

(And that was a BIG cake!)

candy-cane-cake-carnage

 

I Want… To Take the Christmas Lights Down (With Help) February 3, 2009

 

     My tree came down right after New Year’s, but the lights are still up outside.  So are all the lawn ornaments and decorations.  Perhaps because I don’t claim this to be “my job”?  Probably more so because my husband thinks he’s Clark W. Griswold and our house needs 700 strands of lights and/or lighted wire statues, and while they’re great fun to put up, taking them down is a pain.

 

     Which is why we are the only house on the street   in the neighborhood   in the city   in the state   in the universe to still have our Christmas lights still up.

 

     The plan was to take them down today, (more…)

 

Observations… January 3, 2009

 

     It has been a day.  (I’ll leave it at that.)

 

     Because it has been a day, I have had some things rolling around in my head that were just dying to be put in blog-post form.

 

     Don’t you feel lucky?

 

Observation #1When you go to the doctor for a physical for the first time in nearly four years, go FASTING, so they can draw your bloodwork on that very same day.

Also, keep good records of your previous tetanus shots.  When the doctor says it’s been ten years, and you KNOW you’ve had one since then but can’t prove it, be prepared to get shot in the arm.

Sub-observation b—   When they give you a shot that needs to be “worked out” to minimize pain, be sure you know BEFORE you get the shot, so you can get it in the arm you write with, instead of the other, less-utilized one.

 

Observation #2When you go to have bloodwork done on a Saturday morning, and your husband assures you he’ll get up to shovel the 2+ inches of snow that fell the night before, be prepared to shovel it yourself.  On an empty stomach that hasn’t had food or water in 13 hours.

Celebrate the extra exercise you’ll get to add to the Wii Fit.  Seriously consider bagging real  Wii Fit training for the day.

 

Observation #3When the vampires at the lab draw five vials of blood out of your arm, and your veins are like garden hoses even when mildly dehydrated, is it too much to ask for them to hit a vein on the first try? 

I swear, this morning, the needle went in sideways.  SIDEWAYS. 

 

Observation #4When your kids want to have a party and make you the guest of honor, let them.  I’ve never been so happy to see 1000 strips of paper taped to a bedroom wall, nor felt so honored to wear a paper crown adorned with red paper hearts.  We played a rousing game of “I Spy” before everyone sort of drifted off to their own activities, but it was a FUN party, albeit short-lived.

(I may not be so happy in a week, when the paper strips have made their way off the wall, onto shoes and/or socks, and moved through the house, but then again, maybe I’ll put my crown on and we’ll party some more while we clean them up.)

By the way, it hurts your heart a little when your kids ask you if you’ll come, and then express utter joy and disbelief when you say, “Yes, I’d love to attend.”

 

Observation #5It is not nearly as fun to take the Christmas tree down as it is to put it up.

Although, when your husband says the same thing, you wonder if it’s his way of getting out of helping.  (Yup, probably is.)

Also, how is it that in the five weeks since the furniture was rearranged to accomodate the tree, the couch had more toys and papers stuffed under it than it did for all four previous months combined?

 

Observation #6An ice-cold Pepsi is the nectar of the gods. 

It makes everything better.

 

Observation #7 Tomorrow is my blog-oversary, and I have no gifts to give.

Pa rum pum pum pum.

I will figure something out AFTER I get the living room put back together.  (I can’t guarantee you’ll be excited about it. ) (That would be the gift, not the living room.  Although I’m sure you wouldn’ t get excited about my living room, either.)

 

 

     See you tomorrow!  I’m sure you can’t WAIT!!!   😀

 

Quick, someone throw me a rope! Or a Hoover! A shovel? December 29, 2008

Filed under: Christmas,Holidays,The Looney Bin — Kemi @ 3:36 pm

     I just wanted to check in quickly and say that YES, I am alive, and NO, I have not stopped blogging for good. 

 

     Right now I’m buried up to my neck in wrapping paper, food storage (thanks, Mom and Dad!), bristle blocks, stockings, coats, boots, gloves and mittens, race cars, DVDs, Littlest Pet Shops, and laundry.  (And more laundry.  And MORE laundry.  Always, with the laundry…)  It doesn’t seem to matter how well I think I’ve cleaned up a room– I have a two three-year-old who can’t leave a surface clean for more than ten seconds, and the minute I turn my back, he’s “decorated” it again.  

 

     I tend to be a little claustrophobic  (I just noticed the first FIVE letters of that word— how fitting!), and I can’t say enough that the mess is driving me crazy.  I think there might even be hives.

 

     And so I press on, recycling here and sorting there, carrying loads up and down the stairs, pausing every 24 hours to do my body test and training on the Wii Fit.  (Thanks, Grandma Claus!  That has been our FAVORITE present.  In four days, I am already down 2 1/2 pounds.  Over the holidays!)

 

     Rest assured, I will be back soon, after I’ve regained some sense of normalcy.  (This is OUR house we’re talking about, so normal is relative.)  Thanks for stopping by each day.  I am amazed at my site counter, and how it continues to climb, even when I have nothing interesting to say, and haven’t for a week.

 

     Oh, and as I near my 1st Blog-o-versary, keep your eyes peeled for a giveaway or two. 

 

     Number one on the list?  ANTHONY.      

 

     Number two?  A bag of recycled Christmas paper.

 

     I kid, I kid. 

 

     About the paper. 

    

     Okay, and the three-year-old. 

 

*****

 

     Here, while I’m digging out, check out our Christmas morning pictures:

 

 

     Santa brought the family a Wii and two games.  (Very luckily, Santa purchased said Wii early in the season, before car sales went into the toilet.)  Kenny was completely shocked, as were the kids.  Notice how, in the last picture, he’s reading a book, and the Wii is sitting on his lap?  Niiiiiice.

 

The Christmas Spirit December 23, 2008

Filed under: Christmas,family — Kemi @ 11:27 pm

     All this season, I’ve struggled to find the Christmas spirit.  I think I had it earlier, like right after Thanksgiving, but I’ve had a hard time keeping it this year.  I can’t believe that tomorrow is Christmas Eve.  I feel like now that all my preparations are (mostly) complete, I need another two weeks to bask in the glow of chestnuts roasting on an open fire, and all that good stuff.  Maybe if I had an extra two weeks, I’d be able to see December 25 as Christmas, and not just a Thursday.

 

     It makes me sad.

 

     I don’t think I’m alone in feeling this way.

 

     I can’t even blame the lack of joy on a lack of snow, because we definitely have a white Christmas…  and then some.  I think I must be broken.  It has to be me.

 

     What is my problem?

 

(more…)