Kemi, like “chemistry”

Random Musings of the Misunderstood

The Year Without A Christmas Tree… Maybe? December 9, 2014

Filed under: Holidays,The Looney Bin,Uncategorized — Kemi @ 1:21 am

It has been an interesting two weeks.


Hannah’s birthday was the day before Thanksgiving, just as it was 11 years ago. Then, Thanksgiving (and all that it entails!). Kenny and I spent two days trying to purchase a cell phone at Target during their Black Friday sale, and after 5 unsuccessful trips in two days, we gave up, Then, on December 2, my brother married the greatest girl in the world (who shall heretofore be known as “Rhonda”). The day was beautiful, but exhausting. (It’s been a week, and we’re still recovering. It didn’t help that when he departed for his Hawaiian honeymoon, he left us his cold. So generous, my brother is.)  Oh, and somewhere in there, Kendra tried to parkour over a desk at school, fell, and possibly fractured her wrist.  She’s wearing a splint.  And a sling.  And she’s less than thrilled with the whole situation.


So, normally we (and by “we”, I mean “I”) put the tree up over Thanksgiving weekend, but we were so busy making trips to Target and the E.R., and opening birthday gifts,  AND sucking up every last minute of family togetherness, it didn’t happen. It is currently just after midnight on December 9, and there is no Christmas tree twinkling brightly in the corner of my living room.


I bought a brand new tree this year, since the pre-lit one my dad surprised us with five years ago will not light up in the center section. The new tree is even full-sized, rather than the little 5-footers we’ve had since we got married almost 20 years ago.


The problem is, there needs to be some very minor furniture rearranging to get the tree up, and no one seems to care enough to lend a hand.


It’s all Little Red Hen at my house.

“Who will help me put away laundry and clean the house so we can put up the tree?”
“Not I,” said the teenagers, as they typed on their laptops.
“Not I,” said the tweens, as they played Minecraft.
“Not I,” said the toddlers, as they scattered more toys around the living room.

“Are you going to put the tree up anytime soon?” asked the Big Red Rooster.
“Not without some help,” said the Little Red Hen.  

“Oh,” said the Big Red Rooster, as he went back to his xbox game.

So the Little Red Hen turned into the Grinch and moved the unpacked boxes of Christmas decorations back into the garage.


I told my kids if the room isn’t ready for the tree by the weekend, I would bring in the ugly brown tree box and wrap it in tinsel, and we’d call it good for the year. I think they think I’m kidding. Won’t they be surprised to find out I am SO not kidding.


I’m actually a little giddy about how easy it will be to clean up in January…


Tonight’s sleep disruption brought to you by Duracel. Also, First Alert. February 13, 2013

Filed under: Uncategorized — Kemi @ 12:57 pm
Tags: , , ,

Last week, Anthony helped me put in new batteries in our smoke alarms.  (Notice how I didn’t say “replace”?  I figured they actually had to have had batteries IN  them at some point in the past two years to qualify as being replaced.)  I didn’t think I’d have to give them another thought until August, when we were due to repeat the process.


And then, sometime after 1 am this morning, the beeping started.


[As a side note:  What is with smoke alarm batteries failing in the middle of the night?  Seriously?  You can’t hold it together for another four hours, until we’re all awake and I don’t want to bash you with a hammer?  Or a Tonka truck?  I HATE you, smoke alarms.  You too, batteries!]


I heard it on my second trip to the bathroom, and pretended I didn’t.  It took me a little bit longer to fall asleep after my fourth trip, because I started counting “one-Mississippi, two-Mississippi” between chirps.  Some chirps were 20 Mississippis, while others were 6 or 7.  (This lends credence to my theory that smoke alarms are very much alive and inherently evil, since they not only choose to go off in the middle of the night, but have a way of controlling the intervals between chirps.  This would also explain why every time I go downstairs to figure out which battery needs replacing, the stupid thing is silent until I’m halfway up the stairs.  I am 6 1/2  months pregnant.  Also, I am not a ninja.  I refuse to dive into every doorway, hoping to catch the offending alarm before it finishes its masochistic “CHIRP!”)  


At some point, I fell asleep again, and forgot all about the beeping until SOMEONE  *coughLunacough*  thought it would be funny to use my bladder as a trampoline.  I dragged myself to the bathroom one more time, and listened to the chirp find its way up the stairs, around the corner, through the kitchen, down the hallway, and into my head.  I used a pillow to muffle the persistent sound, and slept semi-peacefully until morning.


This morning, I have been downstairs half a dozen times, and I can’t figure out which alarm is having issues.  I have stood in every room, next to every alarm, pressed “test” repeatedly, and still–  nothing.  I’m about ready to pull all the batteries out and leave the empty alarms behind, just so the beeping will stop.  


And suddenly, just like that, I remember why none of my alarms have had batteries in them for a long, long, LONG time…


It’s On. December 1, 2011

Filed under: Uncategorized — Kemi @ 6:57 pm

Hold your breath.  It’s about to get regular up in here.  🙂


See, I’ve missed blogging.  I’ve missed sharing my crazy life with you.  (I’ve missed hearing how funny my life is.)  There are so many things I failed to write (type) down, and now they are lost in that foggy place memories go when you’re the mother of five.  (FIVE!)  That makes me sad, and blogging makes me happy.  So it’s a win-win.  It’s well past time to start it up again.


Earlier this week, I was feeding Sam in the high chair, and Alex was across the room, “working” on the computer.  Every so often, he’d guffaw, or giggle, or snort.  I had my back to him, and when I turned around to see what was so funny, I found him scrolling through my past blog posts.  Apparently, he still finds me hilarious, although I’m sure that will change in four months, when he turns 13.  He called Kendra over, and they read story after story, laughing together and reminiscing about what I’d written.


It made me happy (and proud, if I’m being completely honest) both in the moment, and for the past however-many years of blogging I’d done.  It also made me a little sad, for the years I let it slide.  Since I can’t go back, I can certainly move forward.  With a little bit of catching up first.  (Did you know I had a baby?  He is almost 6 months old now.  I’ll have to introduce you to him in a future post.  He’s a shameless flirt, and my heart melts every time I look at him.)


So, see you tomorrow?


The Co-STAN-za fallout March 4, 2010

Filed under: Kenny,The Looney Bin,TV shows,Uncategorized — Kemi @ 3:30 pm
Tags: ,

     I posted the picture of Jason Alexander on my Facebook page, to show how similar it was to Anthony’s pose from yesterday.  There was some unintended fallout that made for one of  the funniest threads I’ve ever been a part of, and I HAD to record it.  You know for blackmail posterity…


First, here is my husband:


While I admit he does  bear more than a slight resemblance to George Costanza, I still didn’t expect THIS:




Change March 2, 2010

Filed under: family,The Looney Bin,Uncategorized — Kemi @ 1:49 am

(In my defense, change rhymes with strange, and is therefore a perfectly acceptable topic to write about.  And if that isn’t good enough for you, then let me take an even bigger stretch by saying that sometimes, change is strange.) (*groan*)

(Do you hear that sound?  It’s the click of a dozen computer mouses- mice?-, deleting me from feed readers.  With good reason, I suppose.)


     So, we have made some changes in the Sutton household as of January 1.  (I like the word “change” instead of the word “resolution” for several reasons, the best one being that there is less pressure to succeed, and less emphasis on “fail”.  I am, after all, a HUGE slacker.)  Some of the changes have been good, some of them have been excellent, a few resulted in “What were we thinking?”, and some have been abandoned due to lack of effort and/or excitement.  Before I hit you with a list of some of those changes (as I’m sure you’re on the edge of your seat with barely-contained excitement), let me preface the following paragraphs by saying that I HATE change.  Okay, maybe I don’t *hate* change, but I am perfectly comfortable with the status quo.  Almost always.  Change takes effort, it takes faith, and there is no guarantee that change will wield results.  (Okay, so that isn’t true, either.  Change ALWAYS wields results.  They just might not be the results I want.)  In short, change is uncomfortable, and let’s face it:  I am all about the comfort.  (Hence, the wardrobe.  The hair.  The makeup, or lack thereof.  The house.  Like I said before…  SLACKER.)


     Here we go. (more…)


Hello, Strange(rs)* March 1, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — Kemi @ 1:52 am

     It’s been a long, long time.


     Too long.


     There have been dozens of things I’ve missed writing about because I kept putting them off, or because I told myself I was too busy, or because I was  too busy.  Days turned into weeks, which turned into months, and suddenly I’m reliving my old journal entries all over again.


     Back when I was a better, more committed blogger, I did a few complete months of NaBloPoMo.  (I did several, less complete months as well, but I try to pretend they didn’t happen.)  At the end of every month, I still get the e-mail in my inbox encouraging me to participate in the next month’s challenge, and when I opened my March e-mail, I thought two things:


(Actually, I thought several things, simultaneously.  I won’t bore you with what doesn’t pertain because I like you, and also because I try to keep the crazy under wraps.  You’re welcome.)


1.  I can do this!  What better way to force myself to start blogging again, than to make a month-long commitment?





2.  “Strange” is a fun theme!  I can SO *do* strange.



     So there you have it.  I am committed to post every day this month, in the hopes that it will give me the big kick in the pants that I need to pursue a writing career (surprise!), entertain my fan(s), and keep a sporadic-yet-amusing account of my life.


     I hope you’ll join me.  I hope you’ll enjoy it.




*See what I did there?  I have this theme IN THE BAG.   😀


Happy Happy Joy Joy! June 15, 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Kemi @ 10:22 pm

     I got a phone call early this afternoon.


     It was Kristi, and I could hear her grin through the phone.


     “Guess what?!?!”  she (practically) shrieked.  “They found my backpack!  They have my backpack!  It’s at the police station and I can go get it!”


     I instantly broke into my version of the happy dance, which, if you saw it would remind you more of the potty dance, but whatever.  There was dancing.  There was celebrating.  There were even tears.


     Someone found it next to the canal that runs behind the elementary school that is across the street from our neighborhood.  Everything inside was wet (most things were soaked, thanks to the solid week of rain we’ve gotten), but most of it is salvageable. They had gone through everything and dumped it into one huge (extremely soggy) pile, but aside from a few credit cards, three DVDs, some cash and a little change (okay, about 2 pounds of change) and her laptop, it was all there… plus some snails.  Being the heroic sister that I am, I picked them off and threw them into the street.  (Okay, one.  I picked one off.)  I know that there weren’t snails in her bag when it was stolen, so wasn’t it nice of Mother Nature to leave her a little something to make up for what was taken?


     Even the zip drive was there, completely dry and unaffected.


     A lot of people prayed for her during the last week, and just the other day I told her that if you went by  my kids’ prayers alone, her backpack should sprout wings and fly through her bedroom window. 


     Of course, this way was good, too.  It was a happy, happy day.