Kemi, like “chemistry”

Random Musings of the Misunderstood

Tales from Motherland September 11, 2013

Filed under: motherhood,Natalie — Kemi @ 2:35 pm
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My friend Jeri (Hi, Jeri!) complimented my blog this morning, and linked to it on her Facebook account.  Gaaah!  It hasn’t been updated in three months!  Suddenly there’s so much pressure to write!  I’m not even going to shoot for funny (don’t you DARE stop reading!  Eyes back here, NOW!);  I just need words on the page.


There is so much to say, and I am too busy to say it.  That’s the irony of having a blog when you’re a mother:  there is always material, but you’re too _______________ to write about it.  (You’re welcome to fill in the blank with any of the following words (or choose one of your own!):  tired, irritated, overwhelmed, exhausted, angry, frazzled, tired, forgetful, hungry, distracted, lazy.


For example, I posted this on Facebook yesterday:

It never fails… when I don’t shower or get dressed in the morning, one of my kids will get sick at school and need to be picked up, and I’ll run into everyone I know.

It’s the mom walk of shame, and unfortunately, I walk it well.


What I did not share on Facebook, but that I don’t mind sharing with you, is that I swapped out my pajama bottoms for a pair of jeans, and tried to hid the fact that I was bra-less under a hoodie.  Double bonus points because it also covered up some mysterious stains on my pajama shirt.  (Mystery solved!  I have young kids!)  Yes, it was 80+ degrees outside, and I chose a hoodie and long pants because I didn’t want to put on my bra.  Oh, and because I haven’t done laundry in a week or four, and those were quite possibly the only clean clothes in my closet.


And then I ran into the mom of one of Hannah’s friends who was substituting at the school.  “Oh, Kemi!” she said, startled.  “Is that you?  I didn’t even recognize you.”  Bless her for saying that, although I suspect she was just being kind.  And then, when I told her how nice she looked, she said, “I rarely dress up, so when I have a reason to look pretty, I embrace it.”  I thought about hugging her, but I remembered the baby stains and the no bra thing and decided to smile, instead.  I was grateful that I had the foresight to chew a couple of mint Mentos on my way out the door, because I couldn’t remember if I had brushed my teeth or not.  My appearance is all smoke and mirrors, people.  (And spit up.  And deodorant.  And ponytails.  And hoodies.  God bless hoodies.)


See?  Material.  But then I spent the rest of my day managing the child who was too sick to stay at school, but not sick enough for computer games, fighting with his sister (who was truly, legitimately sick), chasing his little brother, and generally driving everyone in the house CRAZY because his mean mom wouldn’t give in and let him play the Wii all afternoon, and by the time all the kids were in bed, I was practically comatose.  (“Dinner” was peanut butter and jelly on leftover hot dog buns, for crying out loud.)


So much to write, but so little energy.


I could also talk about my sweet baby Natalie (Hi, Natalie!) who is now FOUR MONTHS OLD.

(Isn’t she cute?  We love her to pieces.  She is my chunky monkey.)


You might want to hear less about how much she poops (she has been alive for 131 days, and has had, AT MINIMUM, 110 blowouts that necessitated complete outfit changes… NOT EVEN KIDDING), but like I said above, it’s material.  I got her up this morning and changed her diaper, and the minute it was off, she released her bladder and peed all over the couch.  ALL OVER.  I was so shocked, all I could do was sit there and watch, her feet clasped in my left hand, as it dribbled out like a bubbling fountain and seeped into the microfiber cushions.  Clearly, I have become less of a “Morning Person”, and more of a “Never Quite Achieves Full Consciousness At Any Point in the Day Person”.  I’m afraid my reflexes are firing a little slow, lately.  And, because my daughter not only has incredible volume, but impeccable aim, she managed to get her pajamas wet.  Soaked, actually.  And they were tucked up behind her neck, so you do the math.  Geometry was never my strongest subject.


Then, not even an hour later, I left her on the *other* couch cushion  (you know, the one that wasn’t wet and didn’t smell like Amoxicillin pee…  thank you, ear infection!) while I dragged the middle kids out of bed and got them going.  Then one of the dogs threw up, so I let them outside, cleaned it up, and took an armful of clothes downstairs to put in the washer.  Two steps into the laundry room, my foot hit something soft and squishy and slippery.  I didn’t know whether to be relieved or even more disgusted when it turned out to be chunky dog vomit and not poop.  So washing the dog bed and blankets became Priority One for the day, until I went back upstairs and heard, “Mom?  Natalie’s stinky.  Bad-stinky.  BAD.”


Do I even need to spell it out?  Probably not, but I’m going to.  It was a veritable poo-splosion, bubbling over the top of her diaper and squeezing past the flimsy elastic leg guards.  It was everywhere, including the couch cushion.  The kids are so used to the Natalie-Blowout drill, they moved into position with military precision (and without a word from me).  Anthony grabbed a used towel to put under her, and then found a plastic grocery sack and held it open.  Hannah searched the clean laundry basket for a new outfit.  Sam grabbed the wipes and a clean diaper, and put them within my reach on the coffee table.  Five minutes and 40 wipes later, she was fresh and clean, but the couch needed some major attention.  All I could do was throw a towel on it and yell, “DON’T SIT THERE!  DON’T SIT DOWN!  KEEP OFF OF THE TOWEL!” any time anyone got within two feet of the couch.  Once the kids left for school, the cleaning frenzy began.


Let me just say, vinyl upholstery covers and those glittery plastic runners my grandma used on her carpet have never held so much appeal.


So THIS is why I am an infrequent updater.  So much to say, but so little time.  So little energy.  So much laundry.



Auf wiedersehen, for now.  Until we meet again…  like maybe when Natalie is out of diapers.  (Ha!)


My kind of Saturday February 28, 2009

     I had hoped to end my fifth month of NaBloPoMo with a bang, but unfortunately, the day was a slow one (nice, but slow) and I have nothing interesting to post.


*woke up

*made pancakes

*built furniture out of popsicle sticks for Kendra’s Tinkerbell doll

*got some good glue-gun burns

*did some laundry

*fell asleep on the couch while the kids played video games (and Anthony put himself down for his OWN nap!)

*finished a book (Pushing Up Daisies, by Rosemary Harris…  LOVED it!)

*looked at Hannah’s dress pattern, read the instructions, stressed, and then put it all away for another day

*spent a brief time online

*did a little cleaning

*ate pizza for dinner

*helped kids set up their sleeping bags for a sibling sleepover


     Tomorrow I’ll continue my nice, relaxing, un-interesting weekend in a similar way.  (No church due to Stake Conference.  Well, *technically* church, but we plan to take the week off…  Sssshhhh!)  Pajamas, movies, good food, tasty treats, and lots of family togetherness.  It will be nice to have Kenny home– we haven’t seen him too much this week.


     I know that February is a short month, but come on…  can you believe it’s already March? 



Laundry and “Love Song” December 11, 2008

Filed under: Anthony,Hannah,Kendra,motherhood,music — Kemi @ 5:36 pm
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     This afternoon I decided to tackle the laundry I’ve avoided for the past few days, and to make the folding less painful, I stuck my i-pod in my ears.  (I don’t know how it is for you, but at my house, the second I stick those ear buds in, every kid needs to tell me something.  Usually at the same time.)


     I knelt at the couch and got a good rhythm going with the whites, when Anthony (more…)


Ten Good Things July 7, 2008

     Today was a good day, as far as days go.  I thought I’d write about ten good things that happened.  I know it’s not very interesting, or even exciting, but they were meaningful to me.


1.  I did laundry because I WANTED to, not because I HAD to.  There was no smelly pile of stuff to sneak in, no car seat covers to launder, no blankets to soak…  it was heavenly.  It was also a very welcomed break.


2.  Kenny took the kids to PetSmart this morning, and then to the park.  I had 90 minutes of uninterrupted time that I could spend doing as I wished.  I did a little blog reading, stripped our bed, put the sheets in the washer (see #1…  totally my choice!), flipped the mattress, ate some breakfast and played with the dogs for a bit.  I haven’t had time to myself in weeks.  Maybe even months. 




Surprise!!! April 23, 2008

Filed under: clothes,Kemi,motherhood — Kemi @ 2:17 pm
Tags: , , ,

     I am still fighting the never-ending laundry battle, and today’s Goliath is the boys’ laundry.  (It’s totally my mom’s fault that they each have enough clothes AND pajamas to go for a solid three weeks without running out of anything, but it’s my fault for letting it go that long.    *sigh*  We’re working on donating some of it, and putting away the kindatoosmall  things for Anthony.)  (I think I could *get* this laundry thing under control if I did one or two small loads each day and only had 7-10 complete outfits per person to worry about.) 


     Anyway, in preparation for today’s washer-dryer epic, last night I had Alex drag his (overstuffed!) laundry hamper and all of the clothes he had on his floor (Carpet!  I didn’t know his room had that!) out into a large space so we could sort them and get things off to a good start this morning.  When I put Anthony down for his morning nap, I noticed a handful of pajamas and underwear on the floor, so I scooped them up to add them to the (sorted) dirty clothes piles that dotted the living room.


     Only, guess what I found in Alex’s clothes pile?  (Not on, not under, but IN !)  Go ahead…  guess! (more…)


Random updates and a fun test April 9, 2008

Filed under: Kenny,meme,motherhood,sick — Kemi @ 12:16 pm
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     I am going to cheat today and post this, because I think it’s a lot of fun.  (I always knew I was an original…  and good thing, too!)
Logo There are
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?



     Kenny just left for his “official” first day at his new job.  He will be selling GM automobiles for the same company he worked for almost ten years ago.  It was hard for him to leave his former company (as was evidenced here), but it was a necessary move.  We are both very happy with his new place of employment, and, as an added bonus, he is working days now.  *grin*  Yes!!!   I can get stuff done around the house!


     Speaking of around the house, I am jumping back on the FlyLady wagon, and in just three days, I am starting to feel hopeful again.  (It’s such a great feeling!)  I have almost caught up with all my laundry, even after an extra three loads due to Anthony’s [projectile] stomach virus.


     Thanks for letting me update.  I’ll be back tomorrow with another letter, I’m sure.



Dear Laundry, April 5, 2008

Filed under: clothes,husbands,kids — Kemi @ 2:16 pm
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Dear Laundry,


     I am tired of washing you.  I’m tired of walking up and down the stairs with you to my dungeon of a laundry room.  I am disheartened (and truthfully, a little maniacal) when I have just washed a hamper of you, and the next time I walk into a kid’s room, you have filled the hamper up again.  To the brim.  (In all fairness, it’s with the clothes that have been stuffed under the bed by my kids, in an attempt to “clean” their rooms, but still.)  This happens…  a lot.


     I know I am still trying to play catch-up from my most recent bout with the super-virus, but even when I’m on top of things, it still seems like ALL  I do is laundry.  Washing, drying, folding, putting away…  it’s exhausting.  And I’m tired.  Of you, of the basement, and just tired in general.


     Can’t you give a girl a break every now and then?  I’d really love it if you’d just “do” yourself for the next few weeks.  Catch yourself up and then be sure to jump into the hamper, rather than on the floor.  And when I pull the full hamper out of the bedrooms to sort you, pleasepleaseplease make sure that you are IN it.  Not under the bed, not hidden in the sheets, not under the table, in the downstairs family room, or in any of the other 1,000 places you seem to hide, thanks to my lazy children.  Or on the cedar chest, where my husband tends to lay you, even though the hampers are less than a foot away.


     I KNOW you don’t want to be washed by my kids.  (Neither of us want that.  As convenient- and practical- as that would seem, I don’t trust them to refrain from dyeing all their clothes pink.  Or black.  And I don’t even want to think of the gum, rocks, chapstick and other things that could go through the washer and dryer if they were in charge of cleaning out their pockets.)  I would hate for things to turn out that way.


     Thanks for giving me this chance to vent.  (Get it?  Vent?  Dryer?)




This post has been brought to you by the letter P (pigsty) and by the number 13 (loads left to finish).