Kemi, like “chemistry”

Random Musings of the Misunderstood

Tales from Motherland September 11, 2013

Filed under: motherhood,Natalie — Kemi @ 2:35 pm
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My friend Jeri (Hi, Jeri!) complimented my blog this morning, and linked to it on her Facebook account.  Gaaah!  It hasn’t been updated in three months!  Suddenly there’s so much pressure to write!  I’m not even going to shoot for funny (don’t you DARE stop reading!  Eyes back here, NOW!);  I just need words on the page.


There is so much to say, and I am too busy to say it.  That’s the irony of having a blog when you’re a mother:  there is always material, but you’re too _______________ to write about it.  (You’re welcome to fill in the blank with any of the following words (or choose one of your own!):  tired, irritated, overwhelmed, exhausted, angry, frazzled, tired, forgetful, hungry, distracted, lazy.


For example, I posted this on Facebook yesterday:

It never fails… when I don’t shower or get dressed in the morning, one of my kids will get sick at school and need to be picked up, and I’ll run into everyone I know.

It’s the mom walk of shame, and unfortunately, I walk it well.


What I did not share on Facebook, but that I don’t mind sharing with you, is that I swapped out my pajama bottoms for a pair of jeans, and tried to hid the fact that I was bra-less under a hoodie.  Double bonus points because it also covered up some mysterious stains on my pajama shirt.  (Mystery solved!  I have young kids!)  Yes, it was 80+ degrees outside, and I chose a hoodie and long pants because I didn’t want to put on my bra.  Oh, and because I haven’t done laundry in a week or four, and those were quite possibly the only clean clothes in my closet.


And then I ran into the mom of one of Hannah’s friends who was substituting at the school.  “Oh, Kemi!” she said, startled.  “Is that you?  I didn’t even recognize you.”  Bless her for saying that, although I suspect she was just being kind.  And then, when I told her how nice she looked, she said, “I rarely dress up, so when I have a reason to look pretty, I embrace it.”  I thought about hugging her, but I remembered the baby stains and the no bra thing and decided to smile, instead.  I was grateful that I had the foresight to chew a couple of mint Mentos on my way out the door, because I couldn’t remember if I had brushed my teeth or not.  My appearance is all smoke and mirrors, people.  (And spit up.  And deodorant.  And ponytails.  And hoodies.  God bless hoodies.)


See?  Material.  But then I spent the rest of my day managing the child who was too sick to stay at school, but not sick enough for computer games, fighting with his sister (who was truly, legitimately sick), chasing his little brother, and generally driving everyone in the house CRAZY because his mean mom wouldn’t give in and let him play the Wii all afternoon, and by the time all the kids were in bed, I was practically comatose.  (“Dinner” was peanut butter and jelly on leftover hot dog buns, for crying out loud.)


So much to write, but so little energy.


I could also talk about my sweet baby Natalie (Hi, Natalie!) who is now FOUR MONTHS OLD.

(Isn’t she cute?  We love her to pieces.  She is my chunky monkey.)


You might want to hear less about how much she poops (she has been alive for 131 days, and has had, AT MINIMUM, 110 blowouts that necessitated complete outfit changes… NOT EVEN KIDDING), but like I said above, it’s material.  I got her up this morning and changed her diaper, and the minute it was off, she released her bladder and peed all over the couch.  ALL OVER.  I was so shocked, all I could do was sit there and watch, her feet clasped in my left hand, as it dribbled out like a bubbling fountain and seeped into the microfiber cushions.  Clearly, I have become less of a “Morning Person”, and more of a “Never Quite Achieves Full Consciousness At Any Point in the Day Person”.  I’m afraid my reflexes are firing a little slow, lately.  And, because my daughter not only has incredible volume, but impeccable aim, she managed to get her pajamas wet.  Soaked, actually.  And they were tucked up behind her neck, so you do the math.  Geometry was never my strongest subject.


Then, not even an hour later, I left her on the *other* couch cushion  (you know, the one that wasn’t wet and didn’t smell like Amoxicillin pee…  thank you, ear infection!) while I dragged the middle kids out of bed and got them going.  Then one of the dogs threw up, so I let them outside, cleaned it up, and took an armful of clothes downstairs to put in the washer.  Two steps into the laundry room, my foot hit something soft and squishy and slippery.  I didn’t know whether to be relieved or even more disgusted when it turned out to be chunky dog vomit and not poop.  So washing the dog bed and blankets became Priority One for the day, until I went back upstairs and heard, “Mom?  Natalie’s stinky.  Bad-stinky.  BAD.”


Do I even need to spell it out?  Probably not, but I’m going to.  It was a veritable poo-splosion, bubbling over the top of her diaper and squeezing past the flimsy elastic leg guards.  It was everywhere, including the couch cushion.  The kids are so used to the Natalie-Blowout drill, they moved into position with military precision (and without a word from me).  Anthony grabbed a used towel to put under her, and then found a plastic grocery sack and held it open.  Hannah searched the clean laundry basket for a new outfit.  Sam grabbed the wipes and a clean diaper, and put them within my reach on the coffee table.  Five minutes and 40 wipes later, she was fresh and clean, but the couch needed some major attention.  All I could do was throw a towel on it and yell, “DON’T SIT THERE!  DON’T SIT DOWN!  KEEP OFF OF THE TOWEL!” any time anyone got within two feet of the couch.  Once the kids left for school, the cleaning frenzy began.


Let me just say, vinyl upholstery covers and those glittery plastic runners my grandma used on her carpet have never held so much appeal.


So THIS is why I am an infrequent updater.  So much to say, but so little time.  So little energy.  So much laundry.



Auf wiedersehen, for now.  Until we meet again…  like maybe when Natalie is out of diapers.  (Ha!)


Sam is 7 months old! January 10, 2012

Filed under: Sam — Kemi @ 5:30 pm
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Since I thought it might be nice to write SOMETHING about him before his first birthday, today’s post is dedicated to my Sam.



Seven months.  Where does the time go?



*He has four teeth, with more ready to break through any day.

*He loves to bite whatever he can get into his mouth, other people’s fingers being his first choice.

*His favorite food is sweet potatoes.  (After fingers, of course.)  He likes to munch on rice rusks, and he HATES the Gerber 1st stage meats.  Watching him do the full-body dry heave of revulsion after a spoonful of “chicken” makes me giggle every time.  And since they say a baby needs to try something at least 10 times before he knows for sure he hates it, I have six more highly enjoyable mealtime shows to enjoy before the guilt can “officially” creep in.

*He doesn’t roll over.  He absolutely refuses to do it.

*He can, however, turn in a 360-degree circle on both is back and his stomach to get to what he wants.

*He sits up on his own, with the occasional wobble.

*He loves books.  His Hungry Caterpillar and Hawaiian fish books are his favorites.

*He still likes to be swaddled (best blankets EVER!) tightly when he goes to sleep.  He recognizes the blanket and tucks his arms into his body in anticipation.

*I have finally worked him up to one nap (most days).  Clearly, not much gets done during the day.

*He’d have no problem being held 24/7.  (See: above)

*He is a shameless flirt.  He bats his big blue eyes and charms everyone.

*He snorts when he laughs.  HILARIOUS.

*He’s tiny.  Barely in the fifth percentile, he still hasn’t doubled his birth weight.

*He holds onto my finger while he nurses.  He also does a dirty-old-man chuckle when I lay him across my lap and reach under my shirt.  (Kenny says, “That’s my boy!”)

*He is fascinated by the dogs, his feet, and sunlight.

*He loves his mama.  (She loves him right back!)



Out of all the babies in the world, I’m quite sure I got the very best one.



A Simple Plan February 20, 2009


     I’ve re-typed the intro to this post at least a dozen times, and I’m still not happy with it.  I’ve decided to abandon it altogether, and just jump into this post with both feet.


     One…  two…  THREE!


     I have been doing a lot of thinking lately about the life I’d like to live, compared to the one I am.  I’ve also been feeling especially nostalgic, which I figure means one of three things:


1.  I have caught up with a lot of old friends on Facebook,

2.  Worrying about making ends meet makes me long for my carefree childhood, or

3.   My spirit is trying to tell me something.


     As I’ve pondered these feelings, I’ve decided that I have too much “stuff” in my life.  Too many things.  Too many distractions.  Sometimes I feel like I’m drowning in stuff, and it’s killing me.  (How is that for dramatic?)  It’s not just household clutter, although there is plenty of that.  It’s the outside stuff that steals my time and my focus, and makes me shake my head at the end of the day and wonder why I didn’t get more done.


     Computer, I am talking to you. 




Stay tuned for today’s post… coming tomorrow! February 19, 2009

Filed under: motherhood — Kemi @ 3:39 pm
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     Because I happily spent my afternoon catching up with a good friend on Facebook (*waving to Sharane*), the post I had bouncing around my head will have to bounce around a little bit longer.  The kids are on their way home from school, there will be homework, and we are moving our FHE visit to the aquarium to tonight, thanks to my little fainting spell on Tuesday, so I won’t have time to hammer out my post tonight.


     Oh, and we got our state Income Tax return back today, so we’re going out to dinner after the aquarium.  (It has been AGES since we’ve gone to a real restaurant that doesn’t have a kids-eat-free-on-Tuesdays promotion.  Acutally, it’s been a while since we’ve been to one of those, too.  My point is, we’re eating OUT.  I can’t wait!)   😀


     This post actually does tie in a little bit to what I’ve been mulling over for the past few weeks, and it all has to do with simplicity.  Motherhood and simplicity.  (Is that sort of like an oxymoron?)


     What are your thoughts about those two words?  I’m interested.  Motherhood.  Simplicity.


     I can’t wait to read your responses.  (Please, let there be responses.)


     See you tomorrow.  I’m off to pet some Manta Rays.


     (And eat in a REAL restaurant.  Did I mention that part?)


The Bad-Mommy Post November 29, 2008

Filed under: kids,motherhood,The Looney Bin — Kemi @ 6:24 pm
Tags: ,



     (There, I said it.  Commence stoning.)


     Normally they are well-behaved little angels (except for Anthony, who is a horribly-behaved little angel), but today my ears are ringing, my jaws ache from clenching my teeth so hard, and I keep stepping on the hundreds of itty, bitty toys Anthony dumped out and threw around the house and down the stairs.  There have been at least two instances today where I actually had to clench my fists to keep from spanking them.  Or shaking them.  Or ripping out my hair by the fistful. 


     Tonight’s bedtime will be an early one.


     And I’m not talking about theirs.




Ten Good Things July 7, 2008

     Today was a good day, as far as days go.  I thought I’d write about ten good things that happened.  I know it’s not very interesting, or even exciting, but they were meaningful to me.


1.  I did laundry because I WANTED to, not because I HAD to.  There was no smelly pile of stuff to sneak in, no car seat covers to launder, no blankets to soak…  it was heavenly.  It was also a very welcomed break.


2.  Kenny took the kids to PetSmart this morning, and then to the park.  I had 90 minutes of uninterrupted time that I could spend doing as I wished.  I did a little blog reading, stripped our bed, put the sheets in the washer (see #1…  totally my choice!), flipped the mattress, ate some breakfast and played with the dogs for a bit.  I haven’t had time to myself in weeks.  Maybe even months. 




Today’s memories brought to you by a supermom… June 12, 2008

Filed under: kids,motherhood — Kemi @ 11:01 pm
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…and she is my new blog buddy Kweenmama!


     I read about her idea a few days ago, and tonight I went to Target to pick out my notebooks.  I am a little disappointed, because I wanted them to be fancier, but I wasn’t willing to pay $10.99 for a spiral-bound notebook with a (tacky! ugly!) decorated cover.  Heck, I could have made that myself, but then it would have been an excuse to put it off.  (I have a tendency to get sidetracked…  easily.)  I ended up getting 97-cent composition books in four different colors.  I figure there’s time to “upgrade” later.  I also didn’t want to talk myself out of it based on perfectionism.  (I very nearly did because I am behind in starting the project, but then I decided that even though Alex will have 9 years and Anthony will have 16, it’s okay.  It doesn’t matter.  They will be thrilled with what I have, no matter what.  I hope.)


     So what am I talking about?  THIS:  a fantastic memory idea, especially for one who thinks she’d like to scrapbook, but hasn’t ever really gotten around to doing it, other than a few pages here and there.  I can totally do this, and I can’t wait to get started–  as soon as the home appraiser comes tomorrow.  (I’m sure you’ll hear more about that in tomorrow’s post.)


Kweenmama says:

One of the most rewarding activities I have done for my kids is to keep individual journals for each of them.  I have done it for years.  Because our days are rather hectic I don’t write in all four journals every day.  Instead, I rotate the journals and write in one each day, so there is a new entry written in each journal every fourth day.

The journals record the good times as well as the bad.  They are full of my expressions of love and pride in the people they are becoming.  There are a few mementos and pictures tucked inside as well.  The plan is to give the journals to the kids as they leave the nest.


     Thanks, Kweenmama.  I hope you don’t mind that I totally stole your idea, but it’s one that I can actually do and keep up with.  Here’s to tomorrow’s entry.  I’m sure there will be lots to write about, since Alex will be spending the day at Scout Camp.


     Happy memories, everyone!